(NOTE : I wrote this back in the first on April 9th ... and didn't feel comfortable publishing it then. I still don't really feel comfortable -- but when have I ever only done that which feels comfortable?)
I have written this post in my head - over and over again. I have debated whether to hit "publish" a zillion times.
I am fearful that this post might be taken the wrong way and don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings.
At the end of the day though ...
(which I have thankfully reached that milestone for the square on the calendar that is designated for today)
... this blog is meant to (1) be an avenue for me to journal this process (2) it is to keep you (near and far) updated on our current situation AND (3) to provide some "yes this is normal" for another someone who might one day walk this road as well.
Without further ado.
A dear friend of mine reminded me recently that I encouraged her once - long ago - to yearly purge her relationships.
Keep those that are meaningful close ... hang on to the ones that just need a little bit of work ... and purge the rest. Get rid of the stragglers and give yourself some room to foster those friendships that deserve your energy.
I've long felt that there is nothing wrong with people just not gelling. Some people just clash, and some people just don't click. I feel it's especially true for women. Us girls just don't know how to hold at arm's distance, those that don't offer anything valuable in our lives.
Last week, I came across my address book while purging a particular room. I was reminded of the "purge your relationships" challenge and decided to take myself up on the quest.
I bought myself a new address book yesterday and today, transferred over only those phone numbers and addresses of people who ... well ... mean something to me.
Gone are the addresses and phone numbers of people who I haven't talked with for years and the contact information of the people who frankly - don't offer me much of anything in return for the energy that I expend.
I don't think that it should be taken to crazy levels because I don't think that everyone needs to start making phone calls or email people to advise them "You've been purged."
In my mind ... when I'm the only one making the effort to keep relationships alive, they won't even notice if I quietly fade into yesterday's memories. Right?
There is something kind of crazy (well - there are LOTS of things REALLY crazy) about moving internationally. The spectrum of everyday reality becomes as if you are a specimen under a microscope. Everything is way magnified, but at the same time it feels like you're looking through the wrong side of your telescope.
Soon, the same things I struggle with HERE everyday, will be the exact things I struggle with THERE everyday. How to make good friends - that are able to withstand a move across the ocean - and how to foster those relationships so that they prosper and grow.
I feel like there are people I still haven't told ... or folks that might not ever know ... we moved to India. Those are the people ... who got purged today from my address book.
No worries ... if you're reading this ... you're still in my address book.
I just felt the need to share that it's not always necessary to hang on to relationships, when they don't offer you anything in return. I don't think it's anything to be taken personally ... is just is what it is.
