Because this is a no filter blogging account of our time in India, I'm going to take a moment to say it like it is ... right at this very moment ... for me.
I wanna go home. I don't even care which home it is, as long as it's within the borders of the United States.
At this moment, I can't believe I ever complained about some of the trivial things from my former life as a stay-at-home-mom living in Suburbia, USA.
Today has been a crappy day, for every reason AND for no particular reason at all. I won't belabor my gripes, issues or current problems because you might not really understand, or might not care ... and maybe more importantly, because I don't have the energy to type it out.
In short :: I am homesick, exhausted, crabby, floundering and freakin' hot. Nothing is going my way and I just want to cry.
(Now, don't read into this that I'm a spoiled brat by any means ... I am not a prima dona or a queen bee. If you know me, you KNOW that about me. It doesn't take much for me to be satisfied or content. I just need --- every once in awhile --- for things to go according to plan. So many days in a row of things NOT going according to the plans that I've laid out, and well, momma gets sad, crabby and inconsolable.)
Today is NOT a day that I want any of my new acquaintances to be privy to my sour, sour mood. Today is also not a day that I want my blogging friends, friends back home or those of you who I've never even met to feel sorry for me or reach out to ask how you can help. So for that reason, I'm scheduling this to post on a day that is NOT today, so that when it DOES publish, hopefully I'll have a better attitude and a better outlook on life.
After picking Mia up from school today, she asked why I was crying (it was one of those crys where you put on the sunglasses and quietly, secretly wipe away the tears, hoping no one will see you).
I sat and thought about it for a couple of long, drawn out minutes. I didn't know what to tell her.
Do I tell her that I am dreadfully homesick today?
Do I tell her that I (for today) wish we'd never moved to India?
"She's only three ... choose your words carefully", I reminded myself.
Just as I was forming the words to give her a response, she tilted her head to the left, put her hand on my knee and said "momma, what you need?"
I finally decided that what I needed ... right then and there ... was a hug. Who better to administer a bit of love medicine than my little innocent princess.
Sweet baby asked "a short hug or a long hug?"
After choosing the long hug option, she hugged away my tears for the moment. She squeezed tight and nestled her little head in the crook of my neck.
Then she asked "you feel better now, momma?"
Even though today might just go down in the "Naomi moved to India history books" as a really sh*t day (pardon my french), I am now determined to find ONE thing about today that is extraordinary. One thing out of today that is spectacular. It takes just as much energy to be positive as it does to wallow in your misery, right?
