I have never looked at our house, our home ... or our stuff ... through these eyes.
Never before have I really taken stock in the various things - the mounds of clothes, the cupboard crammed full of spices, the overflowing dishes and pots. Never before have I sat down on a couch and thought "should this couch be sold, or moved over?"
I know I'm getting ahead of myself ... we've yet to even *see* the package with details. But I can't help but letting my brain wander there.
Honestly - if I rewind that statement, I'd have to admit that it has become an obsessive thought pattern ... a cloud (not all bad, mind you) that hangs over my mood and my every step.
How would we handle the kids' toys? Would we sell everything (or most likely give it all away) since the next return to the States, they'd have likely outgrown them? Do we take up precious storage space to take the green turtle sandbox? They'd miss the play kitchen SO much. And what about the bounce house? Surely, we couldn't take that could we?
Their beds ... they LOVE their beds. The new paint job ... the colors that they picked out themselves. Mia's dollhouse, the dress up clothes, the legos. The darling winter clothes ... they'd need some of that, right? I just bought all new snowpants, boots and mittens -- they wouldn't even need them there.
(really? Did I just say that? The kids would grow out of them by next winter ANYWAY)
How does this all work?
Shoot - and my red chairs. My red chairs, that Todd picked out and that I instantly fell in love with. I wouldn't have to get rid of those, would I?
Our artwork ... the prized possessions that are a culmination of both Todd and my lives before we met ... can you ship that? Is that appropriate ... or selfish?
What happens if I filter through my clothes and only take a handful of things (getting rid of the rest) and then the airline or shipping company loses it?
Will I be able to run? Surely an American woman could find a safe/approved area to run, right? Right?
Food - do they sell the right brand of graham crackers over there? What about chocolate syrup, babybel cheese. Will we take our pots/pans or just start over?
I am reminding myself to just stop. To stop worrying, fretting and becoming anxiety-ridden and instead just focus on the here and now.
The here and now of today is that Todd and I leave for date night in an hour. Terran is chatting away with friends upstairs, Mia is peacefully sleeping and Tony is out in the blizzard, riding his 4-wheeler. That's the here and now ... and I'd better set to just enjoying THIS ....
I'll know more of the answers to my rambling minds' questions ... tomorrow. If not tomorrow, maybe the next day.
This post was written on Sunday, February 22nd ... in anticipation of "the conference call" with the CEO at the job that Todd has apparently been all-but-offered.
