Todd woke me up at 11:20 pm on a Saturday night. This Saturday night, March 7th, I was sleeping in Tony's bed and doing some snuggle time. I had fallen asleep and was dreaming of normal things.
We had earlier in the afternoon sent our final counter-offer to "the guy" and resumed what has become our normal mode of operating .... stop worrying, go about our daily routines, smile often and talk positively about India.
Todd set up the bounce house for the kids and had 'breakfast for dinner', followed by some moonlight gazing and then bedtime.
Even though he hasn't signed on the dotted line, I will soon be an expat.
I researched and planned. I obsessed and analyzed. I tossed this possibility around in my head, over and over and over.
Because I like things in order and thought through, I knew that I would be prepared for "this day" ... ready for "this moment."
But what I realize now ... now that I'm physically ... quite literally IN that moment is that you can never truly prepare for the flood of emotions and feelings that happen when THAT moment occurs.
I am looking at my husband - sitting across the table from me - as he reviews the requirements for application for an Indian Visa and I'm in awe.
I'm in awe of his abilities and talents. I'm proud of him and what he's accomplished during his career.
I'm sad for him that he is soon going to be spending a large chunk of time in a city that is an ocean away from his family.
I'm pleased to know that if anyone can do this, I know that I can ... I can be the one to hold it together back at home, and get done what needs to be done, and provide a safe zone (albeit it stressed and hectic for me) for the kiddos while they go through this transition time and weeks without their daddy.
I'm excited and I'm a leaky bucket at the same time. My stomach is churning at the same time I have butterflies.
The moment has arrived.
Written at midnight on Saturday, March 7th, 2009.
