Memories of the last time we left came flooding back. When we departed from each of our clan of people in 2009, I remember everyone being just so terribly sad and melancholy, but at the same time excited for our upcoming adventure.
At each point of leaving this recent trip back, feelings of absolute sadness and desperate aches of missing our family and friends were tempered with feelings of being ready to go back home and get back to normalcy.
Late night swim parties with old playdate friends, mexican with one of our favorite Kenston football families, visiting with our old neighbors and doing dressup and screaming like banshees for hours, "balls", pulled pork and lots of laughs with our favorite Kenston lacrosse families.
I very much enjoyed watching college football with Grandma Mary (go HUSKERS!), making gingerbread houses with the littles and their cousin. Watching all of the kids with Uncle Greg melts my heart EVERY time. Eating homemade enchiladas with our friend Cynthia (and just behaving like we never left!), coo'ing over Carter (and watching -- with complete surprise -- his parents be 100% laidback -- huge surprise, you two!). Raking the lawn with Uncle Caleb and trying to cuddle with Kitty Jagels.
We spent a comfortable and relaxing afternoon with all of the turkey and trimmings. We saw Megamind in the theatre (sorely disappointed, but the kids liked it) and did a fair amount of shopping too.
Soon, we will be spending as much time as possible with my sister and her adorable family in New York and there will be even more laughs, memories and warm, comfortable moments.
This whole situation brings to the forefront of my mind the thought process that it is truly better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. I know that the quote is more fitting to a romantic relationship, but it applies to family and friends as well.
When you move (whether it's from Nebraska to Georgia to Ohio ... or across the ocean) repeatedly, you can start to wonder if it's worth the time and energy to make deep friendships at your new location.
You can excuse away and rationalize why you don't go "back home" to visit more often.
You can also tell yourself that it isn't damaging at all for your children to not spend quality time with people they "once knew."
After all, you've moved them to a new and amazing location. There are fun things to explore, friends just waiting to be made, sights to see, places to mark off of the list and more.
It strikes a very deep chord when your youngest looks at a photo book from two years past and says "Mama, who is that lady right there?" It tears at your heartstrings to realize that she's pointing at one of your best friends ... and she doesn't remember all of the time they used to spend together.
It hurts the heart when your eldest walks into Grandma's house and immediately says "I forgot how comfortable and just cozy your house is, Grandma!"
At the core of my being, I truly feel that our family is better for this experience. Even though it tears us up inside each time we have to say goodbye, we are better just for having those amazing people to say goodbye to.
Marie recently posted about missing home ... and I LOVE what she says at the end ::
... I am simply grateful for all I have experienced and will experience. I am also grateful for loving so strongly and keenly that I can feel the loss or distance so strongly. It is a great gift to feel so deeply – both happiness and pain, and this makes us truly human.
Tip 231: When you miss something, miss it good and miss it hard. Then it leaves no residue and you can move on until the next time.
To all of our friends and family that we had the opportunity to see, visit, love on and laugh with ... we miss you hard!
