My mom and I recently had an email exchange and she shared this anecdote with me ::
There is a great story about a monkey who was stranded in the ocean during a typhoon (or something). Finally he managed to swim to the shore of an island and was so relieved. The storm was still going on all around him, though. Then he saw a fish struggling just to swim. So... the monkey "rescued" him from the water and laid him on the shore. He sat back, with satisfaction, and watched the fish. At first the fish struggled laying there. But eventually he relaxed and laid still :)
Ha... isn't that a great picture of our poor attempts at times?
What she's referring to revolves around a conversation discussing how best to help those in need. Sometimes it seems so easy to identify a need, and then simply fix it (whether it's financial, emotional or physical).
I wonder though ... how do you know if you're really helping?
The
Fading Ladies recently sent an email to all of our "fans" advising them of the updates on the charities we've been able to help with the sale of simple t shirts. Thankfully, we have the knowledge from the Outreach Group with the American Women's Association to help us a bit when it comes to which charities have been checked out (approved) and who needs what.
Being a part of the Fading Ladies is amazing because we are able to be creative, have fun and thanks to the purchases of so many friends and followers, we have been able to help two amazing charities - even if just a bit - to provide legs for amputees and school supplies for orphaned girls. (
and we're just getting started!!)
But helping can be sticky.
When you see a small child, begging at the street corner ... how do you know whether a quick handout of a Rs. 20 note ... passed through a barely cracked window ... HELPS?
When you are asked for a loan from one of your staff ... because someone is in the hospital or one of their children needs to register for the upcoming school year ... how do you know which answer (yes to the loan, no to an outright gift, yes to an advance) truly HELPS?
When you KNOW you are doing the right thing to join up with other fab women to start a humble t-shirt sales charity group, how do you know WHICH charity to choose ... and which organization needs the most HELP?
When you take your family out for a lunch, or enjoy a date night with your spouse, or take your kids for ice cream too many days out of the week ... how do you decide how to better spend that money and really HELP?
Recently some of us from the Fading Ladies visited the
Arushi Girls Shelter in Gurgaon (outside of Delhi). It currently houses over 40 girls (ages 4 - 18) ... providing them with medical treatment, education (both in-house and in a public school setting), meals, safety and most of all, love.
(
These little bitties are among the youngest of the crew at Arushi.)
The girls mostly come from the Delhi Railway Station ... as a result of being abandoned, orphaned or simply running away from home.
(This photo shows two girls ... one who lived at the Railway Station, masquerading as a boy, so as to get work carrying luggage of the passengers. The girl in the white shirt has lived at Arushi for many years, and her sister has recently joined her as well.)
They don't ask for much, smile the biggest, most beautiful smiles you've ever seen, and just want some HELP.
They need books for their library ... so that they can teach the girls how to borrow a book, use it for awhile and most importantly, return it in the same condition as when they received it.
They need toiletries on an ongoing basis ... as they teach these young ladies how to properly wash, bathe, clean up after themselves.
They need paint ... to liven up the gray concrete walls that is their home.
They need volunteers to come in to teach English, dance, music.
(A photo showing a majority of the girls doing their studies. Teachers instruct in groups, based on their education level and ability to sit still, etc.)
I plan to spend some time with these girls, and the folks who run Arushi, this fall when our schedule starts to resemble something more concrete ... and I want to be sure that my time and efforts are best serving the girls and the organization. What good is a donation of time and money if it isn't best serving the recipients?
Putting a bandage on something for the sake of making the donor feel better, often hurts more than helps.
I'm very interested in the concept of microfinance. I'm a firm believer in the adage "Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.
My mom operates on that very same principle and has orchestrated several events whereby people in Kenya were given a leg up, with the encouragement to learn to provide for the families for weeks and weeks, instead of simply just feeding them for a day.
Sarah recently wrote about
Kiva ... an amazing organization who gives loans to people who are aiming to start a business, or send their children to school. They boast a crazy high return payment of loans as being 98%!!! Even cooler is that 82% of the entrepreneurs that have received loans through Kiva are women.
The average loan size is $386.00. Folks just like you sign up to loan money through the Kiva site (for as low as $25) and your money is joined with other lenders ... and then the person receiving the money then repays the loan. (one thing I haven't been able to find on their site is how long the typical loan repayment takes).
Forgive me for a long and rambling post. The initial point I wanted to make was that it is difficult to want to help, yet to not know how BEST to help.
What are your guidelines for helping?
Do you give as a family unit, or do you solely do volunteer work yourself?
How do YOU decide how best to help?
