I intentionally stayed away from the final assembly for both the elementary and high school - first because I assumed it would be chaotic - but also because I knew it would be full of tears. I instead positioned myself outside of the laughter-filled pool party of the youngest little.
Even though I made a point to NOT be present for an emotional end-of-year celebration, it didn't mean I missed out completely.
Some of the images of this afternoon included a nearly grown teenager ... her body rocking with her sobbing, her head firmly buried in her mother's neck. A family of four exchanging loud tears and cries with another family of four. The fathers exchanging the awkward man-pats, the mothers wiping away the tears and the sets of children trying hard to get their breaths in between the convulsions. A middle school child poring through her memory book from the past year and freely letting tears roll down her face. A precious little 1st grader slowly walking down the sidewalk repeating to herself over and over, "it's ok, it's ok, I'll see her again."
All of those kiddos ... those families ... are moving ... again.
It's hard to explain to our kids that it's normal for kids to move .... and move often. Someone said that this May, over 100 children are departing the kids' school.
I'd guess that the same number of new kiddos are coming BACK in to the school system, but that doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye.
I remember last year during the first couple days of school. As a new parent at the school, I was simply trying to find my way around campus, with a really huge fake smile plastered on my face (because fake smiles force your children to think that all is well in the world).
All around me were mothers shrieking with joy. Gasping with "O M GEE ... it is SOOOOOO good to see you!" Rapid fire questions about "how was your summer? "remind me again, where did you go?" and "did everyone have fun?"
It was so disconcerting and awkward. As a new mom, I felt completely left out and discombobulated. I squeezed Tony's hand tighter and maneuvered my way to his classroom. We swooshed past the clusters of expat moms and into his building. I raised my sunglasses on top of my head, squinted against the sudden change in available light and stood - right there in the doorway - for what felt like forever.
I felt three little squeezes in my hand (our code for "I Love You") and looked down to see a bright eyed little boy who was completely oblivious to my feeling of being completely lost. He said something to the effect of "I'm ready mom!" I hugged him, told him to have a good day, and lowered my protection against anyone seeing through me to what I was really feeling.
Armed with my sunglasses on, I started the walk back through the hoards of moms reacquainting themselves with each other after the long summer apart and thought to myself "I hope I don't do that next fall. I hope I don't knowingly (or unknowingly) isolate a new parent with my gushing and carrying on.
This past week, as people said goodbye, hugs were being passed around like candy on Halloween night. Sunglasses were used, pathetically, to try and hide the tears. Some put their heads down and pushed through the departing crowd, maybe determined not to deal with it and instead ignore.
As we walked through the turnstile - - for the last time of the school year - - Tony again squeezed my hand three times ... just as he'd done during the first week of school. We did it! We all survived our first year of living overseas. We learned how to say "hello" and start new friendships ... and how to say "goodbye"
Some of the lessons learned this year - - from the viewpoint of our three kids::
- It is ok to cry
- Hugs are good
- Hugs are even better when you squeeze for an extra 2 minutes
- Being aware of others feelings means its ok for one person to be angry about moving, when another person acts like they don't care, and when yet another person can only cry
- Just because you say goodbye doesn't mean you will NEVER see them again
- Some of the people who you saw at the beginning of the year and thought you wouldn't like, are now your best friends
To all of our friends that we've had the good fortune of meeting, getting to know and spending valuable time with over the last 10-11 months ... we will MISS your presence in Delhi!
To all of the new folks coming in ... WELCOME. We may still be missing the relocated pals when you land here in our adopted city ... but we welcome you with open arms!
Don't pay any attention to the clan of parents gushing at each other after the long summer away ... just jump right in and introduce yourselves! Before you know it, you'll be saying your own fair share of goodbyes ...
The earlier you say hello ... the longer you have until you have to say goodbye!
