The Delhi expat community is grieving the loss of an extremely bright light this week. A fellow expat (who has lived here quite awhile with her family) passed away on Sunday and the school community, American community, military community and expat community as a greater whole is remembering her memory, her amazing smile and her willingness to help out and make everyone feel welcome.
I had an opportunity to help out a bit during her memorial service yesterday, and when I was getting ready to leave, Tony asked me where I was going.
I simply said "to school." To which, he responded "mom, school is out today."
I debated sharing the details of my visit to school (where the memorial service was being held). When you're 7 years old, sometimes the details are too heavy to handle and sometimes emotional issues such as death are better gingerly handled.
I decided in the end to share with him the basic facts of the situation ... that one of the mothers from his school died on Sunday. The following was our discussion, I wanted to share it with you for several reasons.
(this took place over about 45 minutes' time as he was busy playing a computer game)
T : So why are you going to help him? Doesn't he have a dad still?
N : He does still have his dad, but when things like this happen, he and his dad need all of their friends to show them that everyone cares about them.
I had an opportunity to help out a bit during her memorial service yesterday, and when I was getting ready to leave, Tony asked me where I was going.
I simply said "to school." To which, he responded "mom, school is out today."
I debated sharing the details of my visit to school (where the memorial service was being held). When you're 7 years old, sometimes the details are too heavy to handle and sometimes emotional issues such as death are better gingerly handled.
I decided in the end to share with him the basic facts of the situation ... that one of the mothers from his school died on Sunday. The following was our discussion, I wanted to share it with you for several reasons.
(this took place over about 45 minutes' time as he was busy playing a computer game)
T : So why are you going to help him? Doesn't he have a dad still?
N : He does still have his dad, but when things like this happen, he and his dad need all of their friends to show them that everyone cares about them.
T : Maybe I will need you to introduce me to her son. I could be his friend when he's lonely. I could also tell him it's ok to cry even though he's a boy.
N : That would be nice of you. What's neat is that they've lived in Delhi for quite awhile, so he does have alot of friends.
T : Wait, what grade is he in?
N : 5th grade, babe.
T : Oh 5th? Then maybe I will be too young for him? But I am friends with Ali. He's in 5th grade. Maybe I should introduce Ali to him? What's his name, mom?
N : 5th grade, babe.
T : Oh 5th? Then maybe I will be too young for him? But I am friends with Ali. He's in 5th grade. Maybe I should introduce Ali to him? What's his name, mom?
When I mentioned the boys' name, he lit up and said "Oh he DOES have good friends. I know who he is." Then he got teary-eyed and said "but I know who he is and that makes me sad."
A long pause happened while he continued to play his game. About 10 minutes later,
T : You know how I want to be an inventor? I think I need to make an invention that helps doctors know how to make a heart beat again. That would be a good way to help, I think. It would have helped Grandpa too.
I then got ready to leave (choking back the tears) and said goodbye to the kids (with an extra long hug thrown in). Tony ran to me at the door and said :
T : Are all of the moms going? (to which I responded "yes, there will be alot of the moms there") Ok, then when you all get there, will you give him a hug, because he really needs his mom, I think.
Her life was celebrated during her memorial service and memories flooded the room. The service was live telecasted to her family and friends around the world and it was amazing to see everyone come together, write words of encouragement and memories for a book that will be created for her family.
As one of the speakers said, it is moments like this that allow you to realize that this community of strangers, that have come together in a country that is not their own, really do create a bond and a support network that has strong threads of love, family, shoulders to lean on, friendship, comfort and encouragement.
To all of her friends here in Delhi that are missing her this week, hugs and love to you all. To all of MY friends that have become my family here in Delhi, I appreciate and love you!
