A strength is a pre-exisiting capacity for a particular way of behaving, thinking or feeling that is authentic and energizing to the user and enables optimal functioning, development and performance. ~ A. Linley
The concept of coaching is a relatively new thing for me. Of course, any good friendship includes a bit of natural coaching that can be beneficial when normal sharing, encouragement and chatting takes place. The problem I've found though when talking to a FRIEND is that often they are a bit biased and sometimes unwilling or unable to talk honestly and share weaknesses, challenges, etc. Another issue for me is that with my FRIENDS, I am less transparent and honest about my struggles or my weaknesses.
I made a decision that 2011 needed to be about balance for myself. Finding the sweet spot between doing for others, doing for myself and doing for my family. It's a hard goal to attain, I'm finding.
Enter Louise Wiles. Louise has three international moves under her belt, one repatriation, two kiddos and a Masters in Occupational Psychology as well as a Diploma in Personal Performance Coaching.
I signed up for Louise's email newsletters as I was curious about what she offers. Shortly after, I received an email in my inbox with this as the subject ::
How well are you playing to your strengths in 2011?
and this as the text (with an invite to participate in an upcoming teleseminar) ::
FACT - only one in three people can say what their strengths are (Linley 2010)SHAME - In the Western world our performance improvement systems often begin from the point of our weaknesses - a long accepted practice that completely misses the point from a motivational perspective.
THE REALITY - is that by knowing and then playing to our strengths we are likely to be more motivated, positive, confident and less likely to be overwhelmed by stressful situations.
As an expatriate you are used to challenging yourself, to being flexible, living with uncertainty and adjusting to new environments and lifestyles.
As successful expatriates you are resourceful and used to drawing on a full range of personal skills and talents in order to build successful lives abroad.
Knowing and understanding your personal strengths can help you to achieve even greater things abroad!
I tuned into the teleseminar.
During the 45 minute discussion she touched on the following issues ::
During the 45 minute discussion she touched on the following issues ::
- How can you identify your personal strengths and the strengths of people around you?
- Why do you so often feel de-energised by life?
- How does understanding your strengths reduce your stress and increase your confidence and energy levels?
- Why does developing your weaknesses NOT produce good forward movement?
- How does knowing your strengths energize and motivate you towards achieving your goals - be they career, work or personal goals?
Some of the bullet points of what Louise shared ::
When did you last tell yourself how amazing you are?
Think back over the last 24 hours, what have you thought about yourself being? Have you had ANY thoughts? If you did, what were they?
How much of the talk was what you haven’t done, but should have done ... what you said but shouldn’t ... how well you performed, managed or did XYZ,
How have you focused on what you enjoy, what you are good at and what energizes you?
~~~
What is it about you that earns a thumbs up? Ask yourself that every day.
~~~
After surveying accompanying partners on the topic of "what has helped you" adjust and feel content and satisfied, the answers were ::
posssessing a sense of adventure
being self determined
being sociable
having an open mind
staying positive and attacking issues actively
possessing a positive attitude
recognizing a personal motivation for the experience “I want this experience for myself”
As I listened, and typed notes furiously, I began to realize that some of what I was missing in my quest for balance was that while I have a good handle on understanding my strengths, Louise kept mentioning that equally important was acknowledging your WEAKNESSES. Not just to identify them, but understand that weaknesses do not energize, are not productive and are simply just kind of a buzz-kill.
She went on to share that the three core elements of a strength are energy, performance and use. When you use a strength, you often get a buzz and feel like “the real me”. You may lose all sense of time. Everything seems to be functioning and working perfectly. You might say "THIS is what I was born to do!"
Ah-ha! Maybe this would be a key to unlock the door of balance for 2011. I know what I'm not good at ... I know what my weaknesses are. Instead of wasting time beating myself up for being "less than" in those areas, I'll just concentrate on continuing to do ... what I do best.
Instead of aiming towards boosting my weaknesses, working towards getting more solid in those areas that I fail at, I will try to simply ignore them. Acknowledge them, but ignore them. Play up to my strengths and move on!
I challenge you -- if you are curious about what YOU are good at, ask yourself "what are the things that I am simply good at?"
I also challenge you then to listen to Louise's teleseminar, which she has made available for a replay. To listen to the replay, click this link:
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/
