DO YOUR CHILDREN KNOW WHY YOU CELEBRATE?

It's a weird phenomenon, living outside of your home country.  Major holidays come and go, without a hint of their arrival on the tv, radio or from friends.

Another reason I've realized that holidays go by virtually unannounced is because the grocery stores don't have entire aisles dedicated to the upcoming holiday.

It's strange, really.

We all seem to forget when Memorial Day is, say "really???" when someone mentions Valentine's Day and thank goodness that the American Embassy School recognizes President's Day!

It almost feels that the only reason we DO know when an American holiday comes up is either when Facebook Friends start posting about their plans, or when the American Community Support Association (ACSA Club for short) holds an event, themed for such a holiday.

I always get a bit melancholy when I read blogs with recipes for Labor Day weekend, crafts for 4th of July and gratitude projects for Thanksgiving. Not that I would have made those crafts, started those projects or rushed out to buy the ingredients for those recipes, but since it doesn't feel remotely normal to celebrate those holidays here in India, we've almost decided to not bother at all.

But the flip side of this is that we experience the fun festivals like Holi and Diwali, not to mention the burning of the effigies during Dussehra/Navatri. Rakhi is another favorite

I just wonder what happens when we do return to the United States ... will we have to reteach our kiddos about these holidays and traditions?  Is it a "parenting fail" that they are missing out on family time with low country boils, ringing the dinner bell before Thanksgiving, making snowmen the day of Christmas, or snow ice cream with egg nog on New Years Day?

Or here's an "out there" thought for you ... imagine we had never left the United States to begin with.  Just because our littles continued celebrating these holidays year after year while we had a five digit zip code doesn't mean they understand WHY our nation celebrates.  I'm not sure ANY of our three kids know the true reason behind Labor Day, Memorial Day, even 4th of July (as much as that makes me cringe).  

Do American children really understand the history of our country and the remembrance activities and traditions that have been started as a result?

Do our children know why my mother's side of the family always read that chapter from Luke before opening presents on Christmas Eve (or the chinese food for dinner that night)?  Do they get the meaning behind the festivals that hearken the beginning of summer (complete with foot races, hot air balloons and carnies galore) ?  Do they truly understand why mama gets chills when the Blue Angels fly in formation at the air show?

What is our responsibility as parents (regardless of where you are living) to instill and continue tradition, establish and introduce new celebrations ... and provide an explanation ?

As usual when I write a post, I feel as though I am aimlessly rambling, so I will leave my thoughts here ... what do you think?  I'm asking seriously and would welcome thoughts and a discussion!!  

Do you talk about the "WHY" behind your celebrations?

(by the way, I kind of am loving the fact that when I googled "celebrations" for an image for this post, a photo of holi was right there on the first page!)

Expat Wives Prayer

A friend's hubby emailed this to me ... and after reading it a sixth time, I'm not sure if it's downright funny, appalling or just true ??

(Author unknown)

Heavenly Father, look down on us, your blessed and humble expat wives, traveling this earth to lands unknown.

We beseech You, Oh Lord, to see that our plane is not hijacked, our luggage is not lost or pillaged and our overweight baggage goes unnoticed.

Give us Divine Guidance in our selection of houses, cooks, maids, drivers and gardeners. We pray that the telephone works, the roof doesn't leak, the power cuts are few, and the rats and cockroaches fewer.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from weevils. Save us this day and our daily dread - of traffic jams. Lord, please lead us to good, inexpensive restaurants where wine is
included in the meal - not dysentery. Have mercy on us, Lord, if it be the latter.

Make us fleet on foot to make it on time, and strong in the knee in case we have to squat.

Give us wisdom to tip in currencies not yet understood, and help the natives love us Lord, for what we are, and not for what we appear to be worth.

Grant us the strength to smile at our maids over shrunken laundry and broken treasures remembering our own mistakes in menial matters. Give us Divine patience when we again explain OUR way of doing things.

Almighty Father, keep our husbands from comparing us to the foreign women, save them from making fools of themselves in night clubs, and please, Lord, do not forgive them their trespasses, for they know exactly what they do.

Forgive our expensive treats at Duty Free, for our flesh is weak. Dear God, protect us from bargains we do not need or cannot afford.

And lastly, Lord, when our expat years are over, grant us the favor of finding friends who will look at our photographs and listen to our stories so that our lives as Expat Wives will not have been in vain.

Amen.

What do you think?  Did any of it make you laugh?  Did you wince as you read any of it? 

Expat Women : Confessions (a book review)

What do you get when you combine experience, motivation and a vision for creating a resource manual ... a "how to" book if you will?

Expat Women : Confessions

It is literally a virtual "Expat Life for Dummies" with much more information inside than you can imagine.

The brain child of Andrea Martins and Victoria Hepworth, they cover popular topics like leaving family back home, transitioning quickly, intercultural relationships, parenting bilingual children and work-life balance. They also address more difficult issues such as expat infidelity, divorce, alcoholism and reverse culture shock.

Andrea Martins is an Australian who has lived in Jakarta, Indonesia; Mexico City, Mexico; and now lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Since co-creating ExpatWomen.com in 2006 with American Jill Lengré, Andrea has inspired thousands of expatriate women online. She has also been a guest speaker to audiences in Houston, Washington, Mexico City, Amsterdam, the Hague, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and Marrakech.

Victoria Hepworth is a New Zealander who has lived in Miyazaki, Japan; Shanghai, China; Saint Petersburg, Russia; Gothenburg, Sweden; Mumbai, India; and now lives in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. In 2004, Victoria founded and helped establish Lifeline Shanghai, a not-for-profit telephone hotline for the expatriate community. Victoria is a trained psychologist.

I found, as I started the book, that instead of being a book that I would have to commit to ... starting and finishing from front to back, that instead I could piece-meal read it.  MY KIND OF BOOK!!

I could look through the Table of Contents and find something that struck my fancy ... or I could randomly flip the book open for a surprise tidbit of advice.

Some of my favorite sections include the one on "Starting Your Own Club" (as I realize that we won’t always live in Delhi and I wont always have the amazing support system offered to me here).

Another best of the best?  The chapter on "Beware of your friends".  This book is one of the FEW places that is honest enough to say that freindships in expat situations are not always positive (jump to page 47!).

Move then to the chapter on money, budgeting and the truth about expat packages .... (another subject that we all chitter chat about, but no one seems to want to discuss at length) as well as a frank discussion about the fact that while some view the expat lifestyle as glamorous, quite often it is similar to the life they left behind.

Want even more "in your face, but we really should talk about this" topics?  Divorce, affairs, death. Alcoholism.  Aging parents.  Leaving precious friends behind, helping teenagers adjust to life away from home, raising bilingual children and the all-important repatriation.

* * *

This book is for any woman who has ever wondered what it is like to live abroad, work abroad or accompany their working partner abroad.

It is also for any woman already living the expat life but having mixed feelings about settling in, rebuilding their identity, understanding changes in their relationships, successfully managing their money and career, raising children far from home or repatriating.

It is ALSO for the woman who thinks they've got this life mastered and figured out ... if only to give a fresh outlook on what topics newbies may be struggling with!

* * *

The authors of this book have a fun launch competition (they are giving away more than US $5,000 in prizes!) going on through the end of May (I know .... I didn't give you much time).

To buy the paperback :: http://www.amazon.com/Expat-Women-Confessions-Real-Life-Questions/dp/0980823609/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306553456&sr=8-1

To buy the Kindle version :: http://www.amazon.com/Expat-Women-Confessions-Real-Life-ebook/dp/B004YL2TKK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1306553456&sr=8-3

 

From their website ::

Advance Praise

"What a great book! For the first time, a real-life manual that will reassure every expat woman that she is not alone in her unspoken feelings and questions. I loved it!"

Ruth E. Van Reken, Co-author of Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds

"A must for anyone who is, has been or will be an expat!"

Peggy Love, GMS, CERP, President, FIGT (Families in Global Transition)

"A terrific book! Real-life examples of the challenges expat women face, with insightful and practical advice, this should be on the must-read list for anyone involved with expatriate administration."

Andrea David, Head of Global Mobility, Bloomberg LP