Republishing from a blog post I wrote on my personal blog several years ago .... I still miss Grandpa daily as he was the rock of our family's foundation.
He was as a father to me and a huge part of Terran's life during the first 8 years of his existence. I constantly think that he would say "Naomi, I'm proud of you" and think that this whole India thing was just "cool".
Missing Grandpa today especially ... as we remember the anniversary of his passing after a lengthy battle with a "broken heart".
I will never forget the sweet and gentle way he would express his pride in me.
I will never forget the way his voice sounded when he read from Luke, before we celebrated Christmas.
I will never forget the influence he had on Terran, and the man he is quickly becoming.
I will never forget his steadfast love for my Grandma Mary. What an example.
I will never forget the morning I woke up to a voicemail from my uncle, telling of the news. I will never forget talking with my mom, or telling Terran what had happened. I will never forget my Husb making all of the arrangements so quickly so that I could get to Nebraska.
I will never forget having the beautiful honor of playing an amazing song (titled Heartland) just for my Grandpa at his funeral, while my sister danced to her own coreography.
I will always hold dear the cd that was put together with photos of his time on this earth, along with the song, "I can only imagine."
Missing Grandpa today.
By the way, we DID get that watchband replaced for Terran and he still treasures it ... as I know he always will.
The title of my new venture is dedicated to the legacy of our Grandpa . . . you may be wondering why the blog is called Donuts and Graham Crackers?
Graham Crackers and milk - something Grandpa started and something that I am positive will be a favorite that is passed along from my kids' generation to their children, and to their children and beyond.
A day doesn't go by that Tony doesn't ask for gw-aham crackers. Mia has recently started demanding them as well.
(Good thing we have a Costco membership and can buy the boxes in bulk!)
It's been hard to adjust to the realization that Grandpa won't be around to watch my kids grow up. It's been painful to accept that even though I grimaced at the time, I will never again get to hear his explanation of how information is transported through wires, or what diodes are for.
We make a point of talking about Grandpa often - but I need to make more of a point to do it everyday. I think that grieving and understanding loss is sometimes made a bit easier when you vow to remember, and remember often.
Nearly everytime Tony sees an elderly man, he asks me "is his heart broken like Grandpa's was?". How do you explain that?
I am ever so aware of the fact that I MUST keep his legacy alive for my children. It is a duty that I have, that I cannot drop the ball with. He lived a life too full and too memorable to not choose to teach my children about everything he was.
Grandma Mary gave Terran one of Grandpa's watches. It has been sitting in his room since the week of Grandpa's funeral.
I have been remiss in not respecting Terran's wishes to have the band replaced so that he can wear it himself. I always find something else that needs to be done, or a different errand that takes priority.
I am putting it here - documenting it for everyone to see . . . tomorrow, we will get that band replaced. 7th grade camp is next week . . . and he wants to wear it during camp.
I'm so thankful that I had my entire childhood with Grandpa. I'm grateful that Terran had a large portion of his childhood with him.
I'm appreciative of the fact that Tony remembers Grandpa. Even though it hurts like hell to have him ask me why his Grandpa's heart had to break . . . I'm glad he remembers.
I'm also so glad that Grandpa was able to make the trip up to Ohio when Mia was born. I will forever treasure the photo of Grandma Mary holding Mia and Grandpa looking on with pride and approval.
Here's to remembering . . . honoring the legacy of Grandpa.
