Pauline wrote awhile back about school pickup and I've been thinking about it ever since.
Especially now that we are in the middle of the ghost town that Delhi becomes in the summertime (not that the city itself becomes a ghost town, but all of our typical and common haunts become ... well sparse). It feels like the days of school pickup are SO long ago ... and that it will be AGES until we start school again. (while we love the quietness that staying in Delhi during summer gives us, it is quite lonely to have all of our friends away! this summer is dragging on, it seems!)
Especially now that we are in the middle of the ghost town that Delhi becomes in the summertime (not that the city itself becomes a ghost town, but all of our typical and common haunts become ... well sparse). It feels like the days of school pickup are SO long ago ... and that it will be AGES until we start school again. (while we love the quietness that staying in Delhi during summer gives us, it is quite lonely to have all of our friends away! this summer is dragging on, it seems!)
When I look back on school days in Ohio, they went something like this ::
6:00 - Terran would get himself up, showered, eat something for breakfast.
6:30 - Terran would walk out of the sliding deck door, down 4 steps, and down a driveway that was ... oh ... about 300 feet long.
6:32 - The big yellow bus would roll up. Hiss to a stop (sometimes. sometimes I swear it was still moving a bit as he'd hop on) and continue on to the next house.
7:00 - Wake up the Tone-ster, rinse, lather and repeat for his 7:42 pickup ... same big yellow bus.
Then it was just little Mia and I ... all morning and all afternoon ... until the big yellow bus returned at 2:48 ... first with Terran and then again at 3:58 with Tony.
The fact that the boys bused for the majority of their school years in Ohio (and Terran previously in Georgia as well) meant that mama-kiddo chat time was very limited. We did, however, always had a fun walk to/from the mailbox ... and used to love our "so ... what happened today" chat time over a snack of popsicles and apple sticks.
(Terran will say that he misses the bus riding because it was a good amount of social time with his FRIENDS that he otherwise didn't have the time for while at school ... which I kind of understand.)
There is a bus option here in Delhi, but we opted for personal transportation. There's just something about the roads, the traffic, the drivers here that I just felt a bit more secure in trusting Kushal and myself to get them there and back.
Here we leave the house just about 25 minutes before the school bells ring ... and I can be back at the house in about the same amount of time. Pretty similar actually in the distance between the school and the house as back in Ohio.
I distinctly remember the beginning weeks of school, after we first arrived in India, during pickup time. I knew nearly no one. I joined the lonely parents who didn't have a mad mash of friends to hover around, and share all of the drama from the previous day's happenings. I stood on the sidelines and acted super interested in my phone, or fanned myself furiously, or sometimes just aimlessly stared into space.
Then came the days when I knew more people. When the walk from the security gate up and around to the designated pickup spot became all of the social connection one could possibly need. It was great! It was a saving grace. It was something to look forward to.
The fact that the campus houses all of the grades (pre-K to 12th) means that you could easily meet up with the mamas of your highschooler's friends at the coffee shop before it was time for the elementary kiddo to meet up with you ... which means that you could also have a significant amount of chitchat time with those mamas while he tooled around on the playground ... all with enough time to catch up with friends who live outside of Delhi proper while the littles wait in line to get a lolly (popsicle).
Now though ... after two years of adapting to my new rinse, lather and repeat routine, pickup at the kids' school here in Delhi is ....quite honestly ... getting a bit emotionally draining.
My involvement with several things (more than several actually ... my list of things I was involved in was not healthy, actually) meant that either my phone was ringing while Tony was excitedly telling me about science class that day, or I was receiving SMS messages about everything under the sun while trying to hear what Terran was asking me, or I would get approached in person with questions, or advice, or suggestions or drama, or gossip, or anger, or pleas for sympathy, or .... (insert any combination of "requires active listening and responding").
Can I be honest ... and just admit that I actually CHANGED the meeting location for my middle little a couple of weeks into the school year last year because I was worn out from face time?
Instead of walking the main path from outside school gate to the main pickup spot, I chose a discreet location and walked "the back way" to get there ...
I found immediately -- when I purged that 30-50 minutes of social time out of my daily existence -- that my afternoons were more serene, my energy level for my littles when we got back in the car was higher, and the rest of our evening was that much better.
So while I liked it the first time I read it, the more I give thought to the whole "school pickup" business, the more I'm loving Pauline's post.
When you take the opportunity and time actually engage your KIDS and listen to them, you can not only learn quite a bit about them, but also boost their self-confidence level a bit each day, learn about any sad things that happened that day, and rejoice with them in the happy moments.
What I have realized about the school pickup part of my day is that I do need to continue protecting it ... and that I do need to strive towards making that drive home meaningful and use it to my advantage. Especially because I'm not physically driving the car, I have more options right now to physically be in close contact with my kiddos.
My involvement with several things (more than several actually ... my list of things I was involved in was not healthy, actually) meant that either my phone was ringing while Tony was excitedly telling me about science class that day, or I was receiving SMS messages about everything under the sun while trying to hear what Terran was asking me, or I would get approached in person with questions, or advice, or suggestions or drama, or gossip, or anger, or pleas for sympathy, or .... (insert any combination of "requires active listening and responding").
Can I be honest ... and just admit that I actually CHANGED the meeting location for my middle little a couple of weeks into the school year last year because I was worn out from face time?
Instead of walking the main path from outside school gate to the main pickup spot, I chose a discreet location and walked "the back way" to get there ...
I found immediately -- when I purged that 30-50 minutes of social time out of my daily existence -- that my afternoons were more serene, my energy level for my littles when we got back in the car was higher, and the rest of our evening was that much better.
So while I liked it the first time I read it, the more I give thought to the whole "school pickup" business, the more I'm loving Pauline's post.
When you take the opportunity and time actually engage your KIDS and listen to them, you can not only learn quite a bit about them, but also boost their self-confidence level a bit each day, learn about any sad things that happened that day, and rejoice with them in the happy moments.
What I have realized about the school pickup part of my day is that I do need to continue protecting it ... and that I do need to strive towards making that drive home meaningful and use it to my advantage. Especially because I'm not physically driving the car, I have more options right now to physically be in close contact with my kiddos.
As my littlest little enters the world of Kindergarten this August, and my oldest little starts his Junior year of high school (HOW CAN THAT BE???) and I will have THREE in the car at the witching hour, when everyone is hot, tired and cranky ... I may have to employ some of Pauline's tactics and use that time very intentionally.
Well, that and buy a WAY over-priced cooler from Osabas so I can surprise them with popsicles and cold fruit drinks in the car!
