Fun and Unique Anniversary Gifts

When shopping for the perfect anniversary gift it is sometimes helpful to find out some information about when the happy couple got married.  Whether you are celebrating their 1st anniversary or their 50th, find gifts that remind them of their life together and the vows they took.  Also something that is uniquely tailored just for them makes treasured gifts that will put smiles on their faces and joy in their hearts.

A picture frame or photo album that is personalized or hand crafted is always neat, but I find these gifts always mean more when pictures are actually included.  Guest plates that can be signed by friends and family are a creative way to honor and remember an anniversary celebration.  Or try a personalized banner flag to announce an anniversary to the world.  Both items will be proudly displayed for years to come and are fun gifts to give and receive.

Another really unique keepsake is a personalized book that tells all about the events going on the year of their marriage.  Also a wooden wall plaque or sign that can be personalized with names, dates or even poems, depending upon the styles chosen, fit nicely into any home décor.  A name meaning plaque or framed picture can be made for two people and is a unique keepsake that is tailored specifically to highlight the best points of each individual’s personality.  For a gift that they can both enjoy and will especially appreciate.

When shopping for anniversary gifts you’ll find a lot of items can be personalized which adds that special touch to any item making it other than ordinary.  Items like: serving dishes, bowls, trays, coffee mugs, beer glasses, wine glasses, decanter sets, wine carafes, wine stoppers, champagne buckets, leather travel bags, garment bags, toiletry kits, jewelry boxes, valet trays, manicure sets, afghans or throw blankets, even golf accessories like shoe bags, divot tool and ball markers or shadow boxes can become fun and treasured keepsakes.  The trick is to make sure you find a gift that fits into their lifestyle or is something they want or need.

Gifts can be given as a set to the Mr. and misses or to the individual.  You can always give a favorite bottle of wine or other liquor, roses come in a wide variety of colors and they can even have them preserved forever in gold or silver for flowers that will truly last a lifetime.  Also if they never got to have a unity candle, there are lots of candles available for a memorable keepsake or try giving gift baskets that come in a huge variety ranging from bath products to beer and everything in between for a meaningful gift that is sure be enjoyed.

I always like to save the best for last.  Although I’m fond of giving personalized gifts, don’t get me wrong, I also think it’s important to give the happy couple something to look forward to.  Plus you can suggest these gift ideas to others and pitch in for one big present from everybody that you know they’ll love.  A weekend getaway for two, a cruise, hot air balloon rides, a safari trip, tickets to a concert or any event is always fun, a vacation booklet can be purchased that allows them to pick their vacation or just a romantic dinner for two can be a nice gesture that gives the happy couple a chance to spend time together and create more fun memories.  If they never got a first honeymoon, then plan one as their gift.  Also a simple day at the spa or a paid golf club membership can be all that’s needed to put a smile on their faces.

Anniversaries are fun to shop for as the possibilities are only limited by one’s imagination.  Remember to shop early and look online to save yourself any unnecessary hassle’s plus time and money too.  Give from the heart and buy items that fit into their lives and you’re gift will be happily received, proudly displayed and always cherished.

THE CLASSIFIEDS

 Need a car?

Need a new place to live?

Need a job?

Need a massage?

Need a husband?

We just celebrated our anniversary.  Seven years of ups and downs ... and everything in between.  We chose each other.  We made the decision to say "I will" to the list of marital requirements, with friends and family as our witnesses.


We didn't know each other for very long before we exchanged rings and promised to stick by each others' side and to walk down our path of life together for the rest of our lives.  


We weren't truly aware of each others' shortcomings, bad habits, passions or the things that absolutely drove each of us crazy.  Seven months is a relatively short time to get from "Hey, my name is Naomi" to "I do."


Seven years however, is a good start to the plan of getting to know your spouse.  It's just about the right amount of time to get a good start on raising kids, settling in to making a house a home (or several houses into "home"),


It's just about the right amount of time to discover that it drives me crazy that he leaves cupboards and drawers open, and adequate time for him to discover that I am a packrat and quite honestly, a slob. He knows that I don't eat eggs, and I know he likes two ice cubes in his drinks.


Every week, I read the matrimonials in the newspaper here in Delhi.  At first it was mind-boggling.  To think that people are putting themselves out there ... in black and white (and highlighted in yellow to stand out from the rest of the crowd) ... hoping for a match.   Knowing that there are fathers and mothers dedicating a significant portion of their days responding to correspondence hoping to find the best match for their child -- poring through countless emails  containing information and words to showcase their son (or daughter's) best features and attributes.
 
There are classified ads for spouses (called Matrimonials) for every category you can think of.  Religious preferences, divorced, disabled, Caste vs. No-Caste, hometown/home village, etc.  

They spell out the height and weight requirements, almost always state "fair skinned" (I may NEVER get over the awkwardness of the fair skin obsession here) and typically request a certain education.  


Arranged marriages in India are often "scheduled" for lack of a better term, based on these things ... sometimes even the astrological compatibility of the future couple.  

Consider this list from Wikipedia :: 

• Values and personal expectations: should match
• Age and height: girl should generally be younger and shorter
• Looks: should be acceptable to the other, although it is preferred that the women have "a fair skin", as it can be noted in the matrimonial advertisements.
• Religion: should be same, preferably same sect
• Mother tongue, caste: should be preferably same
• Diet (veg/non-veg/alcohol/smoking): may differ only if acceptable to the other
• Education: comparable educational levels or the boy should be more educated than the girl
• Profession: the profession should be acceptable to the other
• Financial: The boy's current and future financial situation should be acceptable to the girl.
• Astrological signs/attributes: should be compatible, if the two families believe in it.

I spent some time talking to an Indian girl who is about to be married.  She chose him.  He chose her. They are both confident they've each chosen someone that will love them for who they are and accept them for who they're not. 

Since I am relatively naive about how all of this works, I asked whether it was an arranged marriage.  

She answered with a giggle, "no, it is a love marriage."  


She has known her fiance for several years and she loves him.  She approached her parents to request that they allow her to marry this boy, as opposed to someone they chose FOR her.


I asked her if she was nervous that her family would reject her request.  She wrinkled up her nose and said "No, I was not worried.  I love him and it would be as it should be."  Her parents have agreed, but reluctantly. 


They have been given several dates to choose from for their wedding date, based off of their astrological signs and the moon.  All dates given are auspicious dates and they should only wed on THOSE days.  

It was precious, as she told me about one of the days being on a Thursday -- "who would want to come to a wedding on a Thursday?"


Even after reading quite a bit of articles on this subject (to share this topic with you), I still don't quite understand the concept and process of arranged marriages, but know that it is very much different than anything I know.

I wonder how my classified would have read, eight years ago, before I chose my Husb.  I wonder what HIS would have looked like!

If you'd like to read a great article about this subject, click over to Anita Jain's article.   


This post could bring up a whole host of discussion topics ::

What does marriage mean to you?  Is love necessary for a healthy marriage?  Why is the divorce rate so much lower in India, than in the United States?  Do you think you could marry someone, without knowing much about them and end up falling in love with them after the fact?

Happy Forever!

I LOVE this video ... maybe a bit tongue in cheek, but perfect --- in my eyes --- as a Happy Anniversary wish to the Husb!

Happy Forever!!

Mehndi, Bindi & Bangles

I recently joined fellow AWA (American Womens' Association) friends for a morning of mehndi, bindi and bangles.

What, you say?

Bangles are not just quite the rage here, they are a common sight on women on a daily basis.  They jingle, jangle and the sound of them hitting against each other is quite melodic.  Our housekeeper, Sushila, wears a delightful combination of both bangles and anklets ... you can always tell where she is in the house!

I have been intrigued by the arm length span of red bangles I often see on Indian women.  Turns out that it is customary for the mother of a new bride to present her daughter with chooda, a large set of red bangles.  She is then to wear those bangles for at least 40 days after the wedding ceremony!

I've found a great set of silver bangles that I just love.  I wear them nearly every day and they are becoming one of my jewelry staples!

Mehndi is the traditional art of applying paste made from leaves of the henna plant to the hands and feet.  The leaves, flowers and twigs are ground into a fine paste and then mixed with hot water.  There is quite a bit of tradition entwined with mehndi (certain festivals and occasions are certain cause for mehndi designs) as well as it being thought to hold some medicinal properties.

It is absolutely fascinating to watch these guys work (male or female artists, both ... although I think I've seen more men?).  Their fingers are quick, their hands are steady and the designs they create are amazing!


I won't go into the details of arguing with the guy doing my feet about the ridiculous amount of money he charged me for this!!

Bindi - as Tony is sportin' on his forehead - is a word derived from the sanskrit word "bindu" ... meaning 'drop.'  It signifies the third eye of a person and when properly placed, becomes the central point of the base of the creation itself.  (I don't quite understand all of that, but there you have it)

Associated most with marriage and femininity, the bindi represents good omen and purity.  Even men have started to wear a "kumkum mark" on their foreheads, particularly for religious or traditional ceremonies.

I happen to LOVE getting mehndi done ... as it's a temporary way to show off a funky design and add a little artistic flair to what could be an otherwise drab outfit  :)  Much cheaper and not as long lasting as a tattoo!

Looking for the moon

In the ancient time, girls used to get married at a very early stage, and went to live with their in-laws in other villages. After marriage, if she faces any problem with her in-laws or her husband, she would have no one to talk to or seek support from. There used to be no telephones, buses and trains long ago. Her own parents and relatives would be quite far and unreachable. Thus the custom started that, at the time of marriage, when bride would reach her in-laws, she would befriend another woman there who would be her friend or sister for life. It would be like god-friends or god-sisters. Their friendship would be sanctified through a small Hindu ceremony right during the marriage.


(How cool is that?  A friendship between women, sanctified ... )

Once the bride and this woman had become god-friends or god-sisters, they would remain so all their lives and recognize the relation as such. They would also treat each other like real sisters.

Later in life, if she faces any difficulty related to her husband or in-laws, she would be able to confidently talk or seek help from each other. Thus, Karwa Chauth was started to as a festival to celebrate this relationship between the once-brides and their god-friends (god-sisters). Along the way, and much later, Karwa Chauth became a ritual of fasting observed by married Hindu women seeking the longlife, well-being and prosperity of their husbands.

Married women keep a strict fast and do not take even a drop of water. It is the most important and difficult fast observed by married Hindu women. It begins before sunrise and ends only after offering prayers and worshiping the moon at night. No food or water can be taken after sunrise. The fast is broken once the moon is sighted and rituals of the day have been performed. At night when the moon appears, women break their fast after offering water to the moon.

 

I spent yesterday with two dear friends and we all got mehendi at a local crafts market.  It was great fun and even MORE fun to then read the initial history of this festival and celebration. What better way to get "inked" for a celebration marking the importance of friendships than to have done it with those ladies!

(Can you see the peacock?)

I did NOT fast today, for the benefit of all around me although it has no bearing on the degree of love that I have for my dear Husb!

 
Tradition says that the darker the color on your palm the more your husband loves you! And the darker the color on the back of your hand, the more your mother in law loves you!

Mimi, although the color on the back of my hand isn't nearly as dark as my palm, I won't take that tradition too seriously  :)

Right about now (Delhi time) as the sun is setting, I imagine there are hordes of women ... all looking for the moon.  Unfortunately, I can't venture out to snap photos or experience this because the littles and homework are calling my name.  I hope for the sake of the ladies fasting, that the moon comes out soon!

How to "move-proof" your marriage - Part Theen

[Read Part Do (i.e. Part Two) HERE  ... and Part Ek (i.e. Part One) HERE]


What India has already taught me [a/k/a what I've learned during this move to Delhi, and how it relates to marriage as I know it ... a SAHM with two littles and a big kid at home, with a very hard-working husband] :

3.  STATE YOUR INTENTIONS.


This really does seem like an obvious and you may roll your eyes when you read this, but a good marriage -- in my eyes -- is based largely on both parties clearly stating their intentions.  If you want something, for goodness sakes, say so.

 

courtesy of thiseclecticlife's Flickr page

If you want a date night out with your man, and don't want to make any of the arrangements ... say so.  Then when he DOES make all of the plans, graciously do NOT whine or grimace about ANY of them!


If you want him to help unload the dishwasher so that YOU can read a bedtime story to the kids without the nasty dishes on the to-do list, say so (and then do NOT gripe about how he loaded the durned thing.)

If you need him to just listen to you and not offer any advice (because a good man knows how to FIX things ... ) just SAY "babe, I need you to just listen to me."

There have been countless moments through this relocation process that have made both of our heads spin ... and during all of those moments, I began to realize that we worked together better when I took a breath, thought for a minute and then SPOKE my needs to him. 

I have spent way too many years of our marriage assuming that he would just KNOW what I wanted or needed.  Isn't that what marriage is about, after all?  Meeting the man of your dreams who knows your every whim and dream?

It has been a slow and sometimes painful road for both of us to the place where I now know that my darling dear cannot possibly guess what twisted and manic wishes/desires are rolling around in my head.


I need to verbalize and SAY what I need to say.  Instead I too often got soo irritated because he didn't respond appropriately (said the little voice in my head) or do what I wanted him to do (mind you, I never let him in on that secret)  --- never realizing that the problem laid with me.  How on earth is he supposed to guess blindly at what I needed?

When I truly take a moment to think through what I need ... and then speak it out loud ... magic happens.  


Is it easy for you to state your intentions?  Does it come naturally to you, or do you have to work at it?

How to "move-proof" your marriage - Part Do

[Read Part Ek (i.e. Part One) HERE]

What India has already taught me [a/k/a what I've learned during this move to Delhi, and how it relates to marriage as I know it ... a SAHM with two littles and a big kid at home, with a very hard-working husband] :

BE CREATIVE.

Whether you are thousands of miles away or the only miles that separate you are the 20 or so miles between home and work, motivate yourself to be creative with your husband.

I have tried to come up with simple ways to make this separation easier on everyone and more enjoyable.  We're going on three months and I really wanted my Husb to understand that we think of him all of the time ... miss him terribly and are literally counting down the days until we're back in the same zip code again.  (Do they call them zip codes overseas?)

• Take random photos throughout the day with your camera and email them to him.  Let him be a part of your day with the kids.  What may be mundane, silly or normal everyday to you (i.e. grocery shopping WITH kids) is something that he very rarely gets to participate in.  Let him in for a bit on your life.
• Send him an email on random occasions with an attached .mp3 file of a song that makes you think of him.
• Send a card with him on his next business trip, or to his place of employment.  Whether it be from you or from the kids, it will brighten his day to have something cheerful to open.
• If he goes to bed before you do and rises before you in the morning, leave a note in the bathroom for him to read as he's getting ready for work. 
• Designate a code word for the two of you that signifies something special. Use it in a quick email ... or at the beginning of a Skype call.  Use your code word artfully and take a photo of a 'creation of sorts' that illustrates your code word.
  
• Change your pin number for your debit card or a password for something you use often to commemorate a special moment/date/memory that you share with your husband.  Nothing like memory recall when you type/enter that!
  

There are 100s of other cheap, free and creative ways to celebrate your relationship and provide reminders of home.  What other suggestions can you add?

When weebles fall down.

Recently when I participated in physical therapy for my knee/leg due to a running injury, I was instructed to use the wobble board.  The wobble board is CRAZY hard.  Just when you think you've gotten your balance, you over-correct and find yourself right back where you started.  The energy needed to keep your feet level and perpendicular to each other is immense and the exercise is tiring.

The wobble board ... and the constant effort needed to keep your balance and your center evenly distributed at all times ... builds your core strength while stretching and strengthening your problem areas.

(Note : remember the wobble board.  I'll come back 'round to it and it WILL make sense later, I promise.  A conversation Mrs. L from Texas made this analogy perfectly clear to me ... and I hope I can relay it to you just as clearly)

I feel like I've been remiss in my pledge to posting honestly on this blog.  I think ... if I am 100% open with you all ... that I've even been a bit misleading with my closest of friends and family.

I feel like I've been living on a wobble board for the past 82 days (translated : a damn long time) both emotionally and mentally.

The truth is, I'm quite often a mess.  Most days, I'm nearly on the verge of tears from sheer exhaustion or frustration.

I keep hearing "wow, you are so amazing" and "Naomi, I just DONT know how you're doing all of this."

I'm not a super hero, or someone to admire, really.  I'm not getting Mother of The Year '09 and for SURE am not winning points in the friendship department. 

See, I plaster on a face every morning when I wake up.  It's a face of "all-together-now".  It comes complete with that smile ... that smile that reassures you all that I'm handling this like a trooper.  It comes with bright and shining eyes that portray 100% excitement about the adventure we're about to start.  It also comes with a tongue that I've been biting for most of those 82 days.  It comes with "cute" outfits (because as Mrs. L says, looking good is one thing that you CAN control when life feels like it's rapidly spiraling downward) and perky answers to your questions about life in Delhi, India.

This isn't about India though.

This also isn't about solo parenting.

It's about trying to navigate a HUGE life change ... without my husband by my side.

It's about trying to make sense of what our family needs most right now ... without him to talk it through at every stage of the game.

It's about needing to be told "this is going to be GOOD" ... from the person that means the most to me.  He truly is my rock ... the one that I look to when I need reassurance ... and the one that reminds me that I'm ok.  He is the guy that can calm my fears with just a squeeze of my shoulders and can right my upside-down-ness with a simple "I love you."

I have done a wicked job of holding it all together.  I've perfected the pat answers to the typical questions about our upcoming move.  But when I'm alone at night ... or when I'm on the phone with Todd ... I melt.

I've rocked the process of actually coordinating this move.  I've navigated unknown waters of sea shipments, international school applications, vaccinations/immunizations, relocating animals, readying a house to be put on the market and virtually "closing up shop" in the past 82 days.  I have efficiently gotten our family from a seemingly normal existence in the snowglobe of Ohio to the current upheaval of living out of suitcases for the past four weeks.  I've done all of that ... with that stupid plastered smile on my face.  But at night, I cry.

See, the person that I chose six years ago to stand by my side ... during the hard times and the good times ... has physically been absent.  He's been over 8,000 miles away since the middle of April ... forging our path and working LONG hours these past 82 days.  He's been adapting to a foreign culture, a new environment, ridiculous demands on his mind and body, cross country travel and sleepless nights ... and doing it all for us. 

We work together as a team so incredibly well ... he is 100% the person that brings resolution to my manic-ness.

I've been balancing on this wobbleboard for 82 days ... for far too long now ... without the one person that I want so terribly to hold my hand and help me find my center.

When I lean too far to the left - as I try to overcompensate for these kids having to say goodbye to their friends and family - I need him here to guide me back to "still".

When my legs get shaky and I can't seem to find my balance because I'm overwhelmed with the to-do list, I need his hands to steady me.

When I'm just in need of someone to hold me up because I'm exhausted, I need my life-blood to be on real time, not 9.5 hours ahead of me in his day/night.

Don't get me wrong. 

The kids and I are having a BLAST celebrating holidays, birthdays, splashing in the pool, having a grand ole' time during these final weeks of being 'state-side' ... but in reality, I want more than anything for HIM to be along for this ride.  Nothing is making it more apparent and in-my-face than spending our last two weeks with HIS family.  Laughter, memories and great photos.

He should be here.

My ability to keep the wobble board upright is slowly waning ... it actually has been for quite awhile now.  I just have been trying my hardest to pretend that it's all ok.

My new phrase that my kidlets are T.I.R.E.D. of hearing by now is "Momma is doing the best she possibly can."

Don't put me on a pedestal or covet this new adventure.  I'm just a girl ... doing the best she can ... who misses her husband.

Somethin' awful.

How to "move-proof" your marriage - Part Ek

I originally started writing this weeks ago.  I saved it as I wrote but then realized that it was much too long for ONE post. Part Ek (Hindi for ONE) is posted today ... and the remaining three segments will be posted on Fridays for the next three weeks.


What India has already taught me [a/k/a what I've learned during this move to Delhi, and how it relates to marriage as I know it ... a SAHM with two littles and a big kid at home, with a very hard-working husband] :

MAKE TIME.

Let's face it and be honest ... when one spouse is working and the other is at home with the kids, there never really is a "good" time to talk during the day.  Truthfully, even when evening approaches, time doesn't magically make itself available either.  Even more damaging to efforts at communication is a 9.5 hour time difference.

I've learned that in order for communication to happen, and actually flourish, both parties have to MAKE TIME.  You don't necessarily have to make time ... at the same time.  But the effort does need to be made.

When you phone your husband, understand that he might not be able to make the time right at that moment.  He may be in the middle of changing oil, performing a root canal, negotiating a contract or in the middle of a therapy session (or whatever it is your hubby does).  You don't have any control over how his day progresses or entails, no matter how pressing YOUR issue happens to be.

What you DO have control over though, is making time when HE calls YOU to carve out even 5 minutes to concentrate your energy on listening to what he has to say.

Yes, I know.  You might be in the middle of making lunch, homework or refereeing an argument.  Even more disconcerting, you may be in the process of herding your children out to the car for an outing.  You may have just hung up from an hour on the phone with your electric company arguing about a bill or just finished speaking with a teacher about a behavior issue. There's also a huge possibility that when he calls that you're in the middle of a diaper change, cleaning up vomit from one of your pets or knee deep in laundry.

Whatever you are doing, make the conscious effort -- if you can --  to STOP what you're doing ... and listen.  I am still working on learning how to effectively verbalize to Todd that sometimes I really can't devote any time to a phone conversation (because of circumstances on my end of the phone) ... and there are some times when he WISHES I'd just not answered the phone (when the kids are screaming banshees!).

I need to make more of an effort to explain quickly that I will be able to talk ... after I finish changing a diaper, or get the kids loaded up in the car.  Then I've effectively communicated where I'm at in my day and we can hopefully have a good conversation, maybe just a bit later in the day.

Another thing we have learned and put in place - actually long before India came about -- is a "two ring system."  If I call Husb during the day at work and he doesn't answer, we have put a system into place whereby I call again right away. If I've "rung twice," it means that I need him to call me back ASAP, step out of a meeting, or otherwise make himself available to me.

The conversation that happens in those five minutes can either be positive or negative.  Might as well give it a go to ensure that they are positive!

What tips and tricks do you have for making time in your marriages and relationships?