M&Ms

Awhile back, I signed up for a daily email called "Notes from the Universe." They are foo-foo, out there and a bit on the weird side ... BUT they also sometimes have a nice take-home thought. Some days I hit delete before even reading them, and most days I hit delete after reading (and subsequently scratching my head because of the weirdness) ... but some days I like what they say.

Recently, I read ::

You see, the thing about Miracles-in-the-Making, or M&M's as they're affectionately called here, is that they must be disguised amongst the plain and ordinary events of each day. Until, of course, they come to pass, at which point the dreamer they had swirled around can comfortably be labeled lucky or blessed.

This isn't by divine law, it's just in keeping with the times you're in. Most folks aren't quite ready to have their belief systems blown to pieces with overtly obvious miracles, but this is changing.
Glad you're different,
The Universe

See ... I know ... it's foo foo and "out there" ... but the point that hit me, was this ::

There are miracles in the everyday. There are small things that happen - that unless noticed and soaked up - can get missed in the chaos of living life.


When your little girl picks up a piece of trash from the playground on the same day that you receive said wacky Note from the Universe and exclaims "Look, mommy! I can PAINT this and make a project" -- that can be a small moment ... a miracle, if you might stretch it a bit.

When I get so caught up with my to-do list and our activities for the day, I forget to just live in the moment. I forget to take notice of the little things that add up to a very contented and joyful life.

When I wait for only the BIG miracles and the moments with a huge WOW factor, I miss the small ones.

Yes - the "Universe" emails are a bit on the loony side, but that one in particular reminded me to quiet my mind, simmer down a bit and just relish in the small moments. Enjoy the M&Ms ... the miracles in the making.

Palace at Neemrana Fort

Earlier, I shared the visuals of our journey to Neemrana.


A short 2ish hour drive from the city .. Neemrana is located in Rajasthan.


Built in 1464, the fort sits in the hillside in pure grandeur!



Neemrana was the perfect weekend getaway for us because it was a short distance from Delhi, and promised to be an oasis from our normal grind of life in the city.



The view from our balcony ... a quaint room with ample space for our family of five. Perfect place to watch the sunset.

The charm of the old fort, the romance of the surroundings and the beauty of the views was honestly lost though on this family.

Much more a setting for an adults-only getaway, we spent most of our weekend attempting to keep the kids entertained and bellies full.

I am grateful for the experience and was glad to get away for a quick weekend, but wish that there was a better format in which to get true and factual information about venues and vacations here in India.

Those of you who live in India are likely to tell me about IndiaMike ... and yes, I admit I did NOT visit there before booking this trip to inquire about experiences. My bad.

If you aim to visit Neemrana .... enjoy it .. but do pack wisely (i.e. snacks, beverages, bread/PB/jelly/cheese sticks, etc.) and be informed (dinner is not served until 8pm ... and the food choices between lunch and dinner are basically non-existent. We asked several times for even a piece of bread for the kids and were told there was nothing until dinner. Breakfast was simply eggs and toast. High Tea was delightful to the eyes, but slim on the choices for nourishment).

If you take children with you to Neemrana ... know that it is precarious to walk the grounds, that if they're not older than 10, they can't do the zipline ... and that short of the pool (which was too cold to swim in at the beginning of November) they are left with little in the way of entertainment.

Do take your own pillows, and be warned that the checkin time can quite possibly be delayed by up to three hours, while checkOUT time is promptly at the posted time - no later.

Note that honeymooners will not take kindly to your children frolicking in the pool, and may possibly ask you to "please quiet your children" as it interferes with their enjoyment of THEIR vacation.

I would LOVE to see Neemrana dedicate one of their beautiful rooms to hosting some board games, soccer balls, jumpropes, etc. that could be checked out by visiting families. Doesn't seem that complicated, does it?

NOW ... I'm not griping ... I'm way past that point. I just feel that this wouldn't be an honest post if all I did was show you the beautiful things we saw. I also understand that quite possibly, the folks looking after the Fort prefer for it not to cater to children, so as to not have it overrun by families and children running amuk ... but wish that we would have been told that beforehand.

We won't be back to Neemrana ... which is unfortunate because it is truly a perfect distance for a quick weekend getaway.

Looking forward to our next trip outside of the city ... and planning to ... well ... plan a bit better!!

The New 55.

Earlier I mentioned my over-zealous 101 in 1001 list ... and wanted to share my New 55 ::

[Goal :: To complete whenever I get it finished ... and to add to it as new things grab my attention]

1. Do a photo walk of Delhi
2. Play music daily
3. See the Himalayas
4. Get my final tattoo
5. Take a photography class
6. Organize my office space
7. Write a book
8. Clear out my never-ending project tubs and FINISH what I started
9. Plan, book and start saving now for our 10th anniversary trip
10. Help to organize a family reunion
11. Run another 1/2 marathon
12. Make calzones
13. Plant a garden
14. Complete photo book of our life from 2008-2009
15. Get caught up with photo book of our life from 2009-2010
16. Find a fun/inexpensive house to rent in Florida for the summer
17. Pay off outstanding "state-side" bills
18. Find a good ... really good wine (also reasonably priced) in Delhi
19. Take a spin with the pottery wheel
20. Take dancing classes with the Husb
21. Solidify plans for trip back to the States in Summer, 2010
22. Get all of my recipes in a binder format, with photos of the completed food
23. Have a unique and original desk created as a "Take Home" piece from our time in India
24. See Italy
25. Se the Taj Mahal (is it bad to say I'm not that excited about seeing it, BUT it must be done, right?)
26. Take yoga ONCE a week as a HABIT
27. Enroll Mia in singing classes
28. Find ONE thing that Tony really enjoys
29. Get Terran excited about photography
30. Have Christmas in Mombassa
31. Get laser hair removal
32. Stop buying unnecessary bags, purses and other things with straps
33. Take Italian lessons
34. Tour Route 66
35. See Sri Lanka
36. Purchase funky glasses (instead of wearing contacts 24/7)
37. Throw a family game night party
38. Start using Flickr
39. USE our bathtub
40. Play paintball
41. Learn to golf
42. Sew an apron for our cook, myself and the two littles
43. Get external hard drive set up and functioning
44. Create usable outdoor living space for ... living
45. Light more candles
    
46. Purge closets
47. Go camping with the family
48. Go white water rafting
49. Take shooting lessons with the Husb
50. Start a collection
51. Be more faithful with Post Crossings
52. Be more faithful about my communication (outside of this blog) to our family
53. Get my CD/music collection all digital (is there a term for this?)
54. Blow more bubbles
55. Sit up straighter
    

101 Things

There was a time when was I was motivated to make a personal change, and one for our family.

I created a 101 in 1001 list.

The point of this exercise was to identify 101 things that would be accomplished in the next 1,001 days. My list was thought about, edited, pored over, added to, deleted from and finally I posted it on my personal blog, with a due date of September 10, 2010.

Now that we've made our move to Delhi, I'm not sure if it still applies. There are some things that are universal to being a parent and a wife and will always be a goal of mine. There are some things that aren't quite as easy to accomplish since we've left the snowglobe. There are some things that I really have moved on from.

I am going to recreate the list ... keeping some of the old items and adding some new. I'm not going to fool myself and create another list of 101 things. That's a bit too ambitious for this chick. I'm sticking with Todd's old football number and going with 55.

I wasn't going to share my first list with you because quite frankly, it's boring for anyone but me. BUT in case you are inspired to create your own, I thought you might glean a suggestion or two. Feel free to skip the list and scroll down to the end of this post!

The original list (the items completed will remain personal) ::

HEALTH/FITNESS

1. Yoga at least 1x a week

2. Drink at least 64 oz of water daily

3. Floss daily.

4. Go to the dentist

5. Stop smoking (I did quit, but it didn't last long)

6. See OB/GYN

7. Get 30 minutes of fresh air a day

8. Gym at least 2x per week (doesnt count yoga)

FAMILY/KIDLETS/PARENTING

9.. Start 529 Plans for each child

10. Do a photo shoot with entire family once a month, on the same day each month

11. Register Terran for Ohio State football camp
12. Send out mid-year "Christmas cards"

13. Redo kids' rooms

14. More reading books at night, less movies!

15. Transfer kids' journals to blog

16. find a church

SELF

17. Read one book per month

18. Pedicures at least once a month

19. Get new coffee pot

20. Add Mia's tattoo

21. Schedule facial hair removal

22. buy a whole new lot of pajamas

23. Girls only outing - once a month

24. Commit to remembering Papa daily, journal it

BUSINESS (from when I was involved with Rock-n-Tot)

25. Open checking account

26. Get some new outfits

27. Find accountant and attorney to provide counsel

28. Become more serious about using FC

29. Whiten teeth!

30. Create home office area

31. Order window cling

32. Send handwritten thank you notes

PROJECTS

33. Compile/condense Gpa's videos

34. Take tutorial on Excel, Publisher and PhotoShop

35. Take photo classes

36. Start purchasing ornaments to represent trips and other important things from our lives

37. Find locations for dad's photos

38. Finish basement curtains

39. Do monthly One True Media montages

40. Swap out kids' toys on a regular basis

GIVING BACK

41. Do monthly dropoff of items/clothes at WomenSafe

42. Be consistent with Mom's monthly payments

43. Find ONE thing for the family to do by way of volunteering together

FRIENDSHIPS

44. Host a family board game night

45. Organize a traveling potluck

46. Send ONE thinking of you card per week

47. Plan a pj/movie party with friends

48. Get together with neighbors

ENTERTAINMENT/GETTING OUT

49. Continue scheduling Meghann for at least two nights per month

50. Make a regular point to get the kids out on date night - individually with each parent

51. Go to some type of museum once a month with kids

52. Take the kids to the zoo once a month

53. See a movie once a month (IN the theatre)

54. Science center ONCE a month with kids

55. Get babysitter once a month for ME - either daytime or evening (use CoOP!)

56. Go see live music once a month

FINANCIAL

57. Collect all change for one year

58. Stick to allowance/budgets with Tony and Terran

59. Pay off all credit cards

60. Keep credit balances under 5% of credit limit

61. Put $1,000 into savings EACH month

62. Track ALL expenditures

63. Meet weekly with Todd to go over budget

64. Utilize Quicken

FOOD/COOKING

65. Plan meals out a month in advance

66. Cook freezer meals ONCE a month

67. Farmers Markets WEEKLY in season

68. Plant a garden

69. Condense and compile/create personalized recipe book

70. Organize and follow through with DItTO women's group

BE DONE WITH

71. CVECA board stuff

72. Todd buying paperback books! Use the library

HOUSEHOLD

73. Get rid of 100 things from the house every 90 days

74. Clean out car TOP TO BOTTOM once per week

75. Buy tubs for winter gear/summer gear

76. Buy more memory for desktop computer

77. Laundry COMPLETED every day

78. Continue recycling cardboard

79. Follow Fly Lady and UFO notebook

80. Make kids' organization process streamlined - make dressup box, go through clothes, etc.

RELATIONSHIP

81. Continue daily "3 things" emails with Todd

82. edited . . .

83. Encourage Todd to "fix" his tattoo

84. Get different dressers in bedroom and "create oasis"

85. Take dance lessons together

86. JUST LISTEN

87. Play the piano for Todd once a week

88. Snow angels in the winter, sand castles in the summer, pick flowers in spring and bake an apple pie in fall!

TRAVEL

89. Plan trip for just Todd and I - even it's only for an extended weekend

90. Plan family trip that Meghann comes along on

91. Finalize plans for houseboat trip with the Terrific Travel group

92. Work with Mimi to plan mid-year Hattaway gathering

93. Plan 3 camping trips!!

94. See the Northern Lights

95. Visit the Grand Canyon

RANDOM

96. Create lists (to be displayed) of the family's weekly goals - create them together on Sundays

97. Play dress up with the kids at least once a week - take pictures

98. Stop speeding

99. Pick a random "be kind" action on a weekly basis.

100. Turn on the music (already do this) daily and DANCE with the kids

101. Donate $5.00 to a local charity for each goal I do not complete in 1001 days.

I'll share the new list in an upcoming post ... but I want to know.

What things might be on YOUR list?

Laundry 101

If you've previously spent any time in my home ... pre-India, you'd know that I despise laundry.

I couldn't find the energy to fold clothes after the dryer stopped turning ... and often our family was forced to trudge into the laundry room in the early mornings to find underwear and socks for their day.

If I DID get a load folded, it often stayed put in the laundry basket ... in our living room.

MAYBE once a week (ok ... in all honesty, maybe once a month) those laundry baskets made it upstairs and into their designated drawers.

Imagine my glee when I discovered that we would employ a dhobi (someone to do our laundry) while we lived in Delhi.

THAT makes me HAPPY!

* * *

Fast forward to the other day ...

Mia's preschool teacher - whom I absolutely adore  - said "Naomi, I have a HUGE favor to ask you."

I braced myself, gritted my teeth and practiced saying "no" in my head.  I'm an over-achiever and love to help out in any way I can, which often finds me doing too much for too many things at ONE time.

Through clenched lips, I said "You know I'd do ANYTHING for you."  (while thinking in my head, PLEASE let this be easy!)

She smiled and said "I really hate to ask you this, because I'm not sure what your dhobi's schedule is, but ... could you have her wash our towels from today's classes, and bring them back in the morning?"

Shoooooot ... I can DO that!

I smiled and said "OF COURSE!  That's no problem!  My dhobi is not working the rest of this week, but I can easily do a LOAD OF LAUNDRY!!!"

* * *

I arrived home, took the bag of towels downstairs and stared at my washing machine for 10 minutes.

I have NO idea where Shakuntella keeps the laundry detergent.

I have NO idea how to turn the dryer on.

I have not done a load of laundry in almost SIX months.  S-I-X months!

* * *

Now, before you all respond with comments like "oh, what I wouldn't give to not have to do laundry for even one week, let alone six months" (or something along those lines) ... let me just tell you that there ARE downsides to not doing the laundry yourself ::

1.  I put on my favorite dress this morning, only to find a BIG hole in it.  Sighed.  Put on my favorite dress (take 2) ... only to find ANOTHER big hole in it.  Third time was a charm.  Until I got to school and found a hole in that one as well.  Is it that the water here EATS your clothes (or the detergent?  Not sure which). Or is it some other peculiar mystery?

2.  I can NEVER find anything I need ... there is apparently a fun game that Sushila plays (bless her heart) called "Let's put Ma'am's pants in a COMPLETELY different place today" or "I think that Ma'am's dresses should be folded today instead of hung"

3.  Todd and Terran often yell furiously from the bathroom "I've got HIS underwear again!"

I know ... little things to complain about when the alternative is not having to do laundry in the first place ...

The end of the story is that I did figure out where the detergent was, and the dryer works just like any other dryer, it's just that I couldn't figure out which outlet worked and where to plug it in.  The towels are currently tossing and turning their way to "dry"!

Updates?

Udyogini :: Guess what?  My plea for assistance with Udyogini worked!  You not only paid for their entrance fee for the recent mela, BUT I am able to give them an envelope with an extra Rs.4,260 to do with as they see fit for the further development of the women in the rural communities of the northern part of India.  Not too shabby for

You guys rock! 

Mary Poppins :: Shanti is a dream.  A breath of fresh air.  She brings peace and order!  She was originally asked to work a two week trial (so that there was no commitment on my part if things didn't work out) but we cut that trial period short and we are happy that she is the newest member of our staff!

I've spent this past week exhausted and very, very tired. I'm coming down with something (not sure what) and it is sucking the life out of me.  I'll be back to blogging regularly ... hopefully next week?

What else do I need to update you all on?  Anything?

Hearing.

Still participating in My Life : In Pictures!

Today's topic from the Five Senses is HEARING ...

While there are LOADS of hearing related photos I could share (just picture :: the traffic and the horns), I decided to share a visual of one of my favorite sounds here in India ::

I was so worried about not hearing the birds.  I talked about it HERE. I was seriously concerned I would never hear another bird!

Another thing I love to hear?

It's so easy to tune out ... and forget what it sounds like to hear a child's laugh. 

Take joy in something you hear today ... whether it be kind words exchanged between your children, or a small bit of laughter, or even the birds.  Relish it!

En Route

We recently took a much needed escape from the city limits of New Delhi and headed for the hills.

I'll post more about our experience in coming days, but wanted to first share the sights of our journey.

(I'm also participating this week in My Life : In Pictures!!)

[The gray, smoggy, icky skies of Delhi on our way out of the city]

[Coconuts, anyone?]

 

When your eyes have grown accustomed to the daily grind of living in a city like Delhi, it was refreshing to see the sights of the countryside.

[Blurry, but it's a CAMEL!]

My Husb pointed out - halfway on our drive - that while everyone else was nose in a book, attentive to a video game or drawing a new masterpiece, my eyes were glued to the outdoors and forehead pressed to the window.

I couldn't get enough.  These photos might look ordinary.  Remind you of the country you live in.  They might even bore you.

For me though, the visual of women working in the fields, open spans of space, camels, even the small markets set up on the side of the busy highway ... were truly a sight for sore eyes.

 

The contrast of the gray skies, green trees and dusty brown fields was really gorgeous.  The sari's in turqouise, orange and pink were impossible to miss.

Sight is a beautiful sense. It can be overwhelming when you are in a situation where only when you close your eyes, can you shut out the negative things around you.

When you choose to open your eyes though, and just LOOK, there are colors, textures, images, memories and beauty.

45 + 5

This is not work of my own, but rather a reporter/writer for the newspaper from where we recently moved ... I've always liked her stuff ... and really like this one and want to share!

Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on

By Regina Brett

September 20, 2007, 2:03PM

Originally published in The Plain Dealer on Sunday, May 28, 2006


To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
 

Which is your favorite, or strikes you the most?

Have car, will travel.

 

I've often talked about how much we love our drivers.  There are moments when I miss the independence of just getting in the car and heading out on my own, and the freedom to sing along with my favorite music.  For the most part though, I am thankful for the luxury of our drivers!

The top photo is Surrender - who drives for my Husb.  The second photo was supposed to be of Kushal - who drives for the kids and I (but Mia wanted a photo of HER).

Both guys live in the hills near the Himalayan Mountains.  They come from small villages (1,000 - 1,500 people) and their families (wives and children) live there.  Both men see their families 1-2x a year, plus during the summer when we are planning to leave Delhi to escape the heat.  I can't imagine that lifestyle, but they both say often that it's the only thing their children know.

They work every day of the week ... and put in 10 hour days.  We are appreciative of the fact that we can simply rely on the fact that they will know where we need to go, how long it will take to get there, can interpret easily for us while out and about, AND that we will arrive safely!

Want to know the BEST thing about me having a driver?  I don't have to remember to put gas in the car!

My afternoons.

I wrote about a typical morning here in Delhi ... and now I'll share my typical afternoon ...

Mia gets out of school at lunchtime, so often we sit and have a bite on the grounds of the American club... she tells me about her morning, sings me her favorite songs and munches on french fries (the girl will only eat french fries these days!).

Other days, I get together with my wonderful lunch bunch girls - of whom I CANNOT get enough of and our time is always too short ... we have been to some great lunch spots and always enjoy each others company.

We head home or to the markets for errands.  Some days, Mia just needs the respite of our home and a chance to chill out, paint, watch Tom & Jerry and have some "white milk."  Other days, I drag her out so we can get the necessary sundries and such.  I think we've found our Mary Poppins (a/k/a/ Cook/Ayah) so starting this week, Mia can stay at home in the afternoons and Shanti will also help with the shopping!

Since my normal circuit in Delhi is only about a 10-15 minute radius, we really can fit quite a bit into one afternoon if needed, including several stops at various markets, stopping in for a cuppa at someone's home, even some days a quick walk to the playground for some swing time.

Soon after that, it's time to head back to school (I really do love that campus!  Good thing, since I spend 75% of my time there, it seems).  Tony gets released first and it's always pleasant and refreshing to have a couple of minutes to chit-chat with the other 1st grade moms.  Double kisses fly, the younger siblings race around and giggle, and we all quickly share the woes of our day.

After we've collected Tony, we all head to the coffee shop - a new addition on the school campus - to get a little snack, have some more chit-chat with parents (usually the parents of older kids as there are two separate gates for arrival/departure and at this point, we're on the "high school side") and wait for Terran.

The staff at the coffee shop really is darling and know most of the littles by name ... this is what Mia's hot chocolate typically looks like!

We grab our slew of backpacks, balance the cappucinos in our take away cups, open up the bags of popcorn, eat the last of our carrot cake and head to the car.  On the way, we phone Kushal and say (the same thing EVERY afternoon) ... "Kushal, we're ready at the gate" ... and magically we walk out of the turnstiles to see him waiting.

Once we get home (just a quick 10-15 minute trip) all of the NORMAL things commence.  Just as if we were back in the States ... homework, video games, snacks, the cooking of dinner (or here lately, the ordering of pizza), baths, book reading, crafting and painting and then FINALLY ... bedtime.

Raingutter Regatta

About a week ago, Tony's cub scout troop gathered for the Raingutter Regatta.  Similar to the Pinewood Derby, each boy was to make their own boat, decorate/paint and ready it for the water.

Practicing the Raingutter Regatta Blow

Guess who won first place in his age group??

Elephants & Camels, oh my.

I have NEVER in my life seen this much ... doo-doo.

[There is really no perspective on the sheer volume of poo you see here ... until you look in the second to next photo]

Also, never in my life have I ridden ....

... a camel

What fun we had at a friend's birthday party ... memories!

Moti Bagh Market.

We live very near to Moti Bagh Market and it has become our "go to" for all the random things we need.  When we ask Kushal "where can we find ______" most often the answer we get is "Moti Bagh!"

We recently set out on a quest to find pumpkins - both for Mia's preschool class and for carving - and what a surprise fun experience.

Typically, I don't have the kids with me at the markets, because it's difficult to hold little hands, watch out for dirty puddles, keep an eye on traffic AND shop at the same time.   This particular day, however, I realized late in the day that my need for pumpkins was NOW.

Moti Bagh is ... in a way ... an open air WalMart.  Instead of Aisle No. 24, you are simply pointed over yonder to a specific spot when you ask where to find what you need.

Instead of just finding pumpkins, we also found sweet, sweet faces.  Giggles and grins.

Is this little one not the most adorable thing you've ever seen?  He made me want to SCOOP him up and take him home with us.

Soon after I took this picture, he ran into their home (consisting of a small concrete room behind their vegetable stall) ....

Tony kept asking me "Mom, what is he doing?"

 

 

We're not sure what he was eating, but the little punkin' wanted to share with Tony and Mia!

Then these kiddos stole my heart.  

Moti Bagh isn't frequented often by expats, so it's kind of a breath of fresh air to just be in the mix ... struggling through the language barrier ... pulling out my annotated version of the english to hindi dictionary ... spending some time just sharing giggles and smiles.


(On a somewhat related topic :: we had butterball turkey for dinner the other night!  Due to a snaffoo with the embassy club, instead of the FROZEN turkeys I had ordered for our Thanksgiving Dinner OVER.A.MONTH.AWAY, I received pipin' hot, freshly roasted turkeys.  Thanks to my patient Husb and dear friend Ms. Pam, who both suggested I quit my whining and make lemonade out of my lemons, we had a delicious Pre-Thanksgiving Dinner!  What a nice surprise!)

Expat Kids are Brats!

So here goes the post that has been mulling around in my head for quite awhile ... actually since we arrived.  I've toned it down from the original text, but still want to say what I need to say ...

Expat kids ... are brats.

Now, don't get your panties all in a wad.  My only experience of expats is this current one ... and my experience and opinion is still just that .... MY experience and opinion.

I'm also likely not talking about YOUR child ... or if there is a possibility I AM describing your child, do something about it, or at least consider trying to make a change.

Let me back up and explain a bit.

Kids that experience a third culture, expat assignment, overseas relocation, etc. have it rough.  It is HARD, stressful, chaotic and quite a disaster sometimes.  It can also be the source of great family bonding, maturing of the children and generally - a good thing.

Doing this ... this "chance of a lifetime" crazy thing called being an expat family ... means that you give up an awful lot and means that you gain quite a bit too.

I knew that our kids were spoiled rotten when we lived in the States.  I said often that we were knowingly raising privileged children who felt entitled.  How to stop that cycle though, I didn't know the answers to.

I really [truly and honestly] thought we would start to break that cycle by moving to India.  It seemed that we would step off of the plane and magically, our children would open their eyes, realize how lucky they were and quit whining about bedtime, stop moaning about homework and actually PITCH in with their chores.

How wrong I was.

I see alot of expat kids who get special indulgences (because after all, they ARE living in India) ... children who aren't disciplined (because after all, they HAVE had to adjust to alot) ... teenagers who are downright rude (because after all, just IMAGINE what they're going through).


An example is while at the American club, watching the way our kids ... OUR kids ... treat the Indian staff.  Complete disrespect while ordering food, disobedience and not obeying the lifeguards' rules at the pool, demanding to be allowed to run amuk on the property even though it's not allowed.  It's not simply just disrespect or disobedience ... it comes with a "smirk and a sneer" and I've just about had enough.

Here recently, as I spend more time on school property, I overhear alot of conversations between expat kids. 

"I hate my #*(%(&$*& driver.  He never gets here on %(*&@#$(*& time and I *always* have #*($&(#*(&# to wait for him." (This comment followed a nasty phone call between this high school girl and her driver, whereby she cussed at him and yelled because he was late to pick her up)

"Our cook makes really gross spaghetti and he smells" (This comment made IN their home IN front of said cook by a THIRD grader)

"Our ayah is stupid and won't let me watch tv!" (This comment made by a FOUR year old)

"Guess what happened last night?  I saw our guard eating what we had for dinner.  But the nasty thing is that he got it out of our trash"

Seriously.  These are words that are flying out of kids' mouths.

Want to know what's even worse?  They are quite possibly only repeating what they've heard from their own parents, and are simply mimicking and copy-catting what they've heard the grownups say.

It is one thing to share the frustrations of living as an expat with a fellow friend.  It is quite another to attack the character or personality of another human being ....

The lack of respect that I see ... most times on a daily basis ... between "employers and their families" and their staff is starting to wear on me.

Recently, after our highschoolers returned from their amazing minicourse trips I was disappointed to hear a group of upper classmen .... on school property ... moaning about how much their trip "sucked."  They continued on to belabor the "disgusting food", "boring activities" and complain that they couldn't bring their music or cell phones.

I get that this is hard.  I too am guilty of making my complaints personal and instead of just sharing frustrations with a friend, letting it get out of hand.

I understand that kids in this situation have maybe a bit "more" to deal with - living in a city like New Delhi.

How do we teach our children to be respectful, be thankful that most of them aren't EVEN cleaning their own rooms or even clearing the supper table?

How do we stop the cycle of feeling entitled and bratty when we are indeed living "that lifestyle" ?

I really hope that you all weigh in ... I hope that there can be a civil discussion about what it means to raise expat kids while living overseas ... and share suggestions - even if they seem simple and obvious - on how to curb this behavior ... one family at a time ....

He brings color.

Mali is our gardener.

We REALLY needed a gardener at our LAST two homes versus our tiny green space here in Delhi, but we'll not complain!

He comes faithfully every late afternoon and works diligently for 1-2 hours, trimming bushes, watering plants and washing the driveway, tiles and stairs.

He is a sweet, sweet man. Gentle and unassuming. Never a word, only smiles offered to the littles, a "namaste" and his head bowed to Terran, Husb and I.

His NAME is actual Ram Prasad (I may be spelling it wrong, but that's phonetic) but around these parts, all gardeners seem to be referred to as Mali.

Recently, I asked Mali to bring color to our small patio area. I have always loved color and especially HERE, want to bring the beauty of India's colors into our home.

I had purchased brightly colored paints and he came on a Sunday. It was his idea to come on a Sunday (outside of his normal hours, because his normal hours would not allow enough light for him to properly paint correctly, he said.)

He spent the day up to his elbows in paint.

I love color and love my Mali!

Halloween in India!

It was a fun filled Halloween weekend ... and surprisingly felt like "home" as we dressed up, carved punkins and "got candy"!

 

  

Terran didn't feel like dressing up, although he sure was curious as to what candy the littles were going to pass on to him after they finished! He stayed back at the house to pass out our goodies ... and enjoyed the festivities at his Fall Fiesta
on Saturday night at school.