Tanya from Forty-Two recently joined in the reading of Delhi Bound (welcome and hello!) and has started a fun little experiment.
She's asking mommas from 'round the world to join in, sharing the five things they most love (or don't love) about being a mom.
My answers (my "tagged" bloggers follow) :
1. Because I said so. Just kidding. There is something very sweet and yet very powerful about getting the last word. There is also something very amazing about getting to have a say in raising independent children who are respectful, yet know when it's ok to challenge an answer. My grandfather often asked me if I was agreeing with him 'just because he was older" or if it was because I agreed with his line of reasoning. He always reminded me (even as a little bit) to question answers if you don't understand them, but to do it with respect. I hope to pass that on to my kidlets as well.
2. I love having someone reach up and touch my face with little fingers -- sometimes dirty, sometimes sticky, sometimes holding roasted worms from the sidewalk -- but always reaching up with a tender touch. Saying 'i love you' with just five itty bitty fingers.
3. Watching my middle one learn how to read. There is something very powerful about watching your offspring learn. LEARN. Soaking up the world around them and learning how to interact within it. VERY cool.
4. Still being a part of my teenager's social scene. I smile on the inside when Terran and his friends choose to include me in their conversations ... even better yet when they ask me for my opinion. Really cool when they let me in on their silliness. Reminds me that even as you begin to mother an adolescent, there is still room for them to be little yet still.
5. Being able to expand my friendships and horizons to include OTHER mothers. To be able to sit back and realize all of the wisdom that my OWN mother had to impart (yet it took me THIS long to realize that she was mostly right). To share my experiences with other women and create bonds with amazing ladies that happen to simply want to raise equally amazing little beings.
There are so many more things that I love about being a mother. There are also so many things that I don't particularly love about the job. Those things are for another post.
Tag ... you're it to:
~ My own mom, living in Kenya and blogging about it at Ministry 2 Kenya
~ A Reason to Write in Delhi
~ Auds at Barking Mad
मैं थक गया हूँ [I am tired]
We're in the middle of Week Eight.
Which means just a hair over six weeks, and we leave Cleveland. June 11th. 43 days.
I'm pooped, people.
I am running on adrenaline from what feels like a perpetual to-do list, and am also running on fumes because I can't seem to really ever catch up on sleep. You know in Groundhog Day (the movie) where the lead character wakes up to the SAME day every morning? Yep, that's how I feel. Only difference is that I'm pretty sure he got more than 4-6 hours of sleep a night.
The kids are handling this separation from Daddy pretty well, thanks to Skype and for the most part, so am I. I miss him terribly and even though seeing him in his "guesthouse room" is really cool, it's not the same. It's *kinda* like an extended business trip, except that it's a R-E-A-L-L-Y long one this time. I'm tired of relying on a good internet connection when all I want is a really long hug.
Salvation Army comes for our discards in a couple of weeks. I wrote about protecting memories for Cleveland.com and it has been interesting to watch some things from the SHIP or STORE pile migrate towards the pile to donate. The closer we get to move date, the less attached I am becoming to STUFF. I'm tired of the mental effort it takes to sort a houseful of memories into three piles.
I'm also tired of the novelty that moving to India carries. Tony often tells random strangers that we're moving to India, and I find myself just smiling a weak smile in response. Most people just look at us strange and probably wonder to themselves "that kid thinks he's moving to India, how funny."
[disclaimer : I kept mulling over whether to say this next thought out loud. Don't get mad]
It might sound negative to say this, but I'm also weary of the "Oh, I could NEVER move to India!" comments. Maybe you can't see yourself moving to India, but to me it seems that comment might echo more deeply about your willingness to try ANYTHING new. Does it? Is there something you WANT to do, but immediately say "Oh, I can't do that" and toss the opportunity aside?
What I'm NOT tired of is your support, your comments, your words and your questions. It means alot when you all ask how you can help, even though I don't have a good answer for you.
I'm also NOT tired of the forwarded information, the suggestions on books/movies AND the emails with "good songs" ... I need some good songs right about now.
Which means just a hair over six weeks, and we leave Cleveland. June 11th. 43 days.
I'm pooped, people.
I am running on adrenaline from what feels like a perpetual to-do list, and am also running on fumes because I can't seem to really ever catch up on sleep. You know in Groundhog Day (the movie) where the lead character wakes up to the SAME day every morning? Yep, that's how I feel. Only difference is that I'm pretty sure he got more than 4-6 hours of sleep a night.
The kids are handling this separation from Daddy pretty well, thanks to Skype and for the most part, so am I. I miss him terribly and even though seeing him in his "guesthouse room" is really cool, it's not the same. It's *kinda* like an extended business trip, except that it's a R-E-A-L-L-Y long one this time. I'm tired of relying on a good internet connection when all I want is a really long hug.
Salvation Army comes for our discards in a couple of weeks. I wrote about protecting memories for Cleveland.com and it has been interesting to watch some things from the SHIP or STORE pile migrate towards the pile to donate. The closer we get to move date, the less attached I am becoming to STUFF. I'm tired of the mental effort it takes to sort a houseful of memories into three piles.
I'm also tired of the novelty that moving to India carries. Tony often tells random strangers that we're moving to India, and I find myself just smiling a weak smile in response. Most people just look at us strange and probably wonder to themselves "that kid thinks he's moving to India, how funny."
[disclaimer : I kept mulling over whether to say this next thought out loud. Don't get mad]
It might sound negative to say this, but I'm also weary of the "Oh, I could NEVER move to India!" comments. Maybe you can't see yourself moving to India, but to me it seems that comment might echo more deeply about your willingness to try ANYTHING new. Does it? Is there something you WANT to do, but immediately say "Oh, I can't do that" and toss the opportunity aside?
What I'm NOT tired of is your support, your comments, your words and your questions. It means alot when you all ask how you can help, even though I don't have a good answer for you.
I'm also NOT tired of the forwarded information, the suggestions on books/movies AND the emails with "good songs" ... I need some good songs right about now.
Through Husb's Eyes
I have been dying for pictures, ever since Todd landed. I want to see - through his eyes - the culture, the land, the people, the sights.
I want to envision the smells, the sounds, the colors.
I want to visualize what the markets look like, what the traffic is like, what the vegetation is like, what the streets are filled with.
I know you too have been impatiently awaiting photos as well, so without further ado, I present:
I can't wait to arrive ... and as long as I don't break my camera again (like I seem to be destined to do on a regular basis) ... I'll be soon flooding you with photos!
I want to envision the smells, the sounds, the colors.
I want to visualize what the markets look like, what the traffic is like, what the vegetation is like, what the streets are filled with.
I know you too have been impatiently awaiting photos as well, so without further ado, I present:
GOLF COURSE
SWIMMING POOL
HIS "OFFICE"
I have to give him a bit of leeway, since his world (as he put it) does consist of these things right now.
I've also gotten lots of pictures of dark restaurants and blurry traffic shots at night.
I have to give him a bit of leeway, since his world (as he put it) does consist of these things right now.
I've also gotten lots of pictures of dark restaurants and blurry traffic shots at night.
And in all seriousness, he HAS sent some pictures that are more in line with what I want to see ....
I can't wait to arrive ... and as long as I don't break my camera again (like I seem to be destined to do on a regular basis) ... I'll be soon flooding you with photos!
Indian Cologne
Email from Todd today :
So I am sitting here in the airport [waiting for his flight to Mombai] minding my own business when this guy starts running across the waiting area with a pressure sprayer can.
(I promise, I'll post some of the pictures Todd has taken in the next day or so ... you'll get a kick out of them!!)
So I am sitting here in the airport [waiting for his flight to Mombai] minding my own business when this guy starts running across the waiting area with a pressure sprayer can.
He was spraying for bugs and there was one at my feet.
Not a word from him.
He just sprayed all over my shoes and pants.
I can barely breath.
I can not imagine someone doing this in the US.
The flight is going to suck.
(I promise, I'll post some of the pictures Todd has taken in the next day or so ... you'll get a kick out of them!!)
Sad Goodbyes
I won't even try to express what yesterday was like for us.
Donut left yesterday to go live with his new owners and we woke up this morning to what feels like a very empty house.
Donut left yesterday to go live with his new owners and we woke up this morning to what feels like a very empty house.
Tony writing a goodbye message on Donut's treat jar.
That killed me yesterday - as a momma - to watch the dog say goodbye to his boy.
I know it will get better as the days go on. With time, the sharpness of Tony missing his dog will fade.
No comments please ...
Say it out loud
I think I'm like most women out there. I "handle" the inside duties as it relates to everything domestic and household, and Husb handles the outside duties.
The lawn, the trash, the edging, the weed-eating, the pressure washing, the driveway lights, the pond maintenance, the sump pump.
All of those chores belong to Husb. I quite think he enjoys those chores and has never once complained about them. Not once.
Every time he'd head out to complete a chore though, I would inwardly roll my eyes. I could never figure out why it took so long to edge the lawn, or why it took such a ridiculous amount of tools for one small job. I got frustrated when the length of the project was extended because he insisted on putting everything back in its place, sweeping up, and cleaning everything before finishing.
Since last week, when Husb headed to Delhi, I have become very aware of the little things that I have taken for granted.
The grass that is slowly creeping up around my flower beds, the unfinished projects in the garage (because it is not instilled in me to 100% complete a task), the driveway lights that are WAY off schedule since the sun is "staying awake" later and later every night.
With that realization has also come the understanding that I don't think I ever once told Husb thank you for his attention to detail around here. I don't think that I ever showed any appreciation for what he took care of and what he contributed to around the house.
I'm going to do that today. When we talk next, which will be when he's hopefully trying to get some sleep, I am going to say it out loud. I'm going to tell him thank you for all of the little things, and the big things, that he does for me and for us.
Do you make a habit of saying it out loud?
We think it to ourselves - random thoughts of gratefulness - but what if we all practiced saying it out loud?
The lawn, the trash, the edging, the weed-eating, the pressure washing, the driveway lights, the pond maintenance, the sump pump.
All of those chores belong to Husb. I quite think he enjoys those chores and has never once complained about them. Not once.
Every time he'd head out to complete a chore though, I would inwardly roll my eyes. I could never figure out why it took so long to edge the lawn, or why it took such a ridiculous amount of tools for one small job. I got frustrated when the length of the project was extended because he insisted on putting everything back in its place, sweeping up, and cleaning everything before finishing.
Since last week, when Husb headed to Delhi, I have become very aware of the little things that I have taken for granted.
The grass that is slowly creeping up around my flower beds, the unfinished projects in the garage (because it is not instilled in me to 100% complete a task), the driveway lights that are WAY off schedule since the sun is "staying awake" later and later every night.
With that realization has also come the understanding that I don't think I ever once told Husb thank you for his attention to detail around here. I don't think that I ever showed any appreciation for what he took care of and what he contributed to around the house.
I'm going to do that today. When we talk next, which will be when he's hopefully trying to get some sleep, I am going to say it out loud. I'm going to tell him thank you for all of the little things, and the big things, that he does for me and for us.
Do you make a habit of saying it out loud?
We think it to ourselves - random thoughts of gratefulness - but what if we all practiced saying it out loud?
Ironic
A friend of mine recently received this email - in a very random sort of fashion - seeings as though she is not anywhere near needing a new checking account, let alone one in India:
Enjoy multiple benefits with a single Rupee Checking Account. Citibank NRI business presents to you the Citibank Rupee Checking Account (RCA) - a power packed account that caters to the banking needs of Indians living abroad and offers multiple conveniences. Your Account comes with these benefits:
ATM/Debit Card for family in India FREE
DD delivery to India1 FREE
International Debit Card FREE*
Easy Money Transfers YES
Internet Banking YES
Pay Utility Bills in India YES
*For NRE customers only - Open your account now and get a set of two movie DVDs3 - 'Singh is Kinng' & 'Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na' FREE!! Also enjoy 10 years waiver on Minimum Balance. Offer valid till 30th April, 2009.
Warm regards,
Citibank, N.A. , India.
So the funny irony of this is that I spent HOURS both sending emails and on the phone attempting to get CitiBank to respond to my inquiries about opening an international bank account.
I actually WANTED and NEEDED such a thing. 10 emails and 4 lengthy phone calls later, I went with HSBC because of their AMAZING customer service and PROMPT response to my questions.
To this day, CitiBank has still yet to give me the answers to questions that one would likely have about opening an account with international presence.
Oh wait, I take that back. About two weeks after my initial inquiries to their "Request Help from an Agent" attempts, I did get a response from a gal who promised to send out the paperwork required for an account setup, but that email/attachment never came.
Good thing CitiBank has this email marketing campaign working for them. If they relied on their customer service alone, they'd have no accounts.
Enjoy multiple benefits with a single Rupee Checking Account. Citibank NRI business presents to you the Citibank Rupee Checking Account (RCA) - a power packed account that caters to the banking needs of Indians living abroad and offers multiple conveniences. Your Account comes with these benefits:
ATM/Debit Card for family in India FREE
DD delivery to India1 FREE
International Debit Card FREE*
Easy Money Transfers YES
Internet Banking YES
Pay Utility Bills in India YES
*For NRE customers only - Open your account now and get a set of two movie DVDs3 - 'Singh is Kinng' & 'Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na' FREE!! Also enjoy 10 years waiver on Minimum Balance. Offer valid till 30th April, 2009.
Warm regards,
Citibank, N.A. , India.
So the funny irony of this is that I spent HOURS both sending emails and on the phone attempting to get CitiBank to respond to my inquiries about opening an international bank account.
I actually WANTED and NEEDED such a thing. 10 emails and 4 lengthy phone calls later, I went with HSBC because of their AMAZING customer service and PROMPT response to my questions.
To this day, CitiBank has still yet to give me the answers to questions that one would likely have about opening an account with international presence.
Oh wait, I take that back. About two weeks after my initial inquiries to their "Request Help from an Agent" attempts, I did get a response from a gal who promised to send out the paperwork required for an account setup, but that email/attachment never came.
Good thing CitiBank has this email marketing campaign working for them. If they relied on their customer service alone, they'd have no accounts.
Enlisting Help
It was suggested to me that this time apart from Todd might bring the kids and I closer together. Some moments, I wonder.
As my patience wears thin, and the volume of my voice increases, I sometimes wonder how that is at all possible. How could just short of three months "on my own" with a to-do list 8,000 miles long breed closeness between the kidlets and I? Seems more likely that it will simply land me the first place in line for the loony bin.
I given it a lot of thought today and realized that part of my problem is a complete and utter lack of a schedule.
My kids are operating off of my whims, moods and current irritation level (evidenced by the littlest of the littles asking me "Are you happy now, mama?"). No wonder we feel like we're in the middle of a tornado. That needs to change.
I'm going to enlist the help of ALL three kidlets (yep - even the 2.5 year old can pitch in) and we're going to band together to make the next three months as organized as possible.
We're going to start with a simple chart and some routine schedules. Bedtime, for one. Even though the sun is staying awake later with each passing day, bedtime is a huge key to my sanity. No matter how selfish it seems, mama is GOING to get some quiet time before I collapse into bed as well!
Terran is going to step up more and get a new list of additional chores around the house. Tony is going to be responsible for leading the charge for the pre-bed clean up of toys and books. Mia is going to start dressing herself (with clothes that I've laid out for her the night before). You get my drift.
* *
With a bit of effort, comes a schedule.
With a schedule, comes sanity.
With sanity, comes the ability to use the next three months as an opportunity to strengthen the bond that I have with the kidlets.
With that strengthened bond, comes an amazing ability to go forth, into a strange land, and come out on the other side, the better for it.
As my patience wears thin, and the volume of my voice increases, I sometimes wonder how that is at all possible. How could just short of three months "on my own" with a to-do list 8,000 miles long breed closeness between the kidlets and I? Seems more likely that it will simply land me the first place in line for the loony bin.
I given it a lot of thought today and realized that part of my problem is a complete and utter lack of a schedule.
My kids are operating off of my whims, moods and current irritation level (evidenced by the littlest of the littles asking me "Are you happy now, mama?"). No wonder we feel like we're in the middle of a tornado. That needs to change.
I'm going to enlist the help of ALL three kidlets (yep - even the 2.5 year old can pitch in) and we're going to band together to make the next three months as organized as possible.
We're going to start with a simple chart and some routine schedules. Bedtime, for one. Even though the sun is staying awake later with each passing day, bedtime is a huge key to my sanity. No matter how selfish it seems, mama is GOING to get some quiet time before I collapse into bed as well!
Terran is going to step up more and get a new list of additional chores around the house. Tony is going to be responsible for leading the charge for the pre-bed clean up of toys and books. Mia is going to start dressing herself (with clothes that I've laid out for her the night before). You get my drift.
* *
With a bit of effort, comes a schedule.
With a schedule, comes sanity.
With sanity, comes the ability to use the next three months as an opportunity to strengthen the bond that I have with the kidlets.
With that strengthened bond, comes an amazing ability to go forth, into a strange land, and come out on the other side, the better for it.
Just wondering ...
After an EXHAUSTING and maddening phone call with the customer service department of Microsoft XBox, I vented my frustration on my Facebook page and with Twitter. As some responses came in, I started wondering about some things. Mostly wondering about some things that concern ME and who I am.
The word prejudice is described as follows:
prej-u-dice
As you are well aware, most companies reroute their Customer Service and Call Centers to India.
Outsourced was a movie that was recommended to us several times over. The summary is as follows:
When the call center he manages in Seattle is outsourced to India, Todd travels there to train his replacement. Housed in a new building that looks like an above-ground bunker, the call center is staffed by willing novices whom Todd trains to sound American. One star on the staff is Asha, who teaches Todd that he should learn about India, and proceeds to do just that.
One of the key phrases that stuck in my head was when Todd (otherwise known as Mr. Toad) attempted to teach the India natives about understanding the United States. The only purpose of the call center was to sell merchandise similar to what you might find at Oriental Trading Company or Collectibles, Etc. and Todd said to his employees "You must learn USA."
He went on to explain that he couldn't really tell them why someone would buy a cheesehead made out of foam, or why there is such a thing manufactured as a portable hotdog roaster, but he said "it doesn't matter, you simply need to learn USA." He also pointed out that many Americans are angry about jobs being outsourced ... and when they were asked where they were located, the Indians should respond "Chicaaahhhhgo" and if asked "what's the weather like", their response should be "oh, very windy, sir."
The catch phrase of this particular scene was when Asha, the female star of the movie said in response "No, Mr. Toad - YOU must learn INDIA."
That phrase has resonated deep in my heart ... I must learn India. I need to teach my kiddos how to "learn India."
But am I a hypocrite if I want very badly to "learn India" but yet I sometimes can't stand to have a phone conversation during a customer service call?
Am I bound for trouble and likely to begin to hate that "lilted accent" when we arrive, when we are surrounded by the language barrier?
Looking forward to a healthy debate ... because I'm wondering.
The word prejudice is described as follows:
prej-u-dice
n.
I've always held myself out as a person who is NOT prejudiced. After all, I have a black father, a white mother, an adopted brother, was a teen mother, a homeschooled student, obtained my GED at the age of 30. I should be the poster child for someone who is NOT prejudiced. I have always felt that I gave others the benefit of the doubt and didn't lump people together simply based on their skin color, religious preferences, voting habits or the way they talk.
Recent events have made me question my stand on whether or not I'm prejudiced.
Is it prejudice if it is simply aggravation? Is it prejudice if your reaction is one of irritation because of circumstances and not a direct action that you take in acting ON that prejudice?1.
a. An adverse judgment/opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge/examination of the facts.
b. A preconceived preference or idea.
2. The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions.
3. Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.
4. Detriment/injury caused to a person by the preconceived/unfavorable conviction of others.
I've always held myself out as a person who is NOT prejudiced. After all, I have a black father, a white mother, an adopted brother, was a teen mother, a homeschooled student, obtained my GED at the age of 30. I should be the poster child for someone who is NOT prejudiced. I have always felt that I gave others the benefit of the doubt and didn't lump people together simply based on their skin color, religious preferences, voting habits or the way they talk.
Recent events have made me question my stand on whether or not I'm prejudiced.
As you are well aware, most companies reroute their Customer Service and Call Centers to India.
Outsourced was a movie that was recommended to us several times over. The summary is as follows:
When the call center he manages in Seattle is outsourced to India, Todd travels there to train his replacement. Housed in a new building that looks like an above-ground bunker, the call center is staffed by willing novices whom Todd trains to sound American. One star on the staff is Asha, who teaches Todd that he should learn about India, and proceeds to do just that.
One of the key phrases that stuck in my head was when Todd (otherwise known as Mr. Toad) attempted to teach the India natives about understanding the United States. The only purpose of the call center was to sell merchandise similar to what you might find at Oriental Trading Company or Collectibles, Etc. and Todd said to his employees "You must learn USA."
He went on to explain that he couldn't really tell them why someone would buy a cheesehead made out of foam, or why there is such a thing manufactured as a portable hotdog roaster, but he said "it doesn't matter, you simply need to learn USA." He also pointed out that many Americans are angry about jobs being outsourced ... and when they were asked where they were located, the Indians should respond "Chicaaahhhhgo" and if asked "what's the weather like", their response should be "oh, very windy, sir."
The catch phrase of this particular scene was when Asha, the female star of the movie said in response "No, Mr. Toad - YOU must learn INDIA."
That phrase has resonated deep in my heart ... I must learn India. I need to teach my kiddos how to "learn India."
But am I a hypocrite if I want very badly to "learn India" but yet I sometimes can't stand to have a phone conversation during a customer service call?
Am I bound for trouble and likely to begin to hate that "lilted accent" when we arrive, when we are surrounded by the language barrier?
If you read my blog, but haven't yet weighed in with a comment, I'd love to hear from you. Whether you are currently living in India, or can't imagine ever relocating there ... give me your opinions.
What does "prejudice" mean to you. Can someone NOT be prejudiced, but yet still harbor an annoyance for anything different than what they are accustomed to?
Week 6 Update
I think we've just finished Week Six? I think?
Some updates:
I think that a "rejuvenation" day is in order tomorrow ... as we have nothing on the calendar and the to-do list can wait.
For tonight though, the stack of movies I recently got from the library is hollering my name. That is, just as soon as I make a call to the XBox Service Center. Of course, Terran's XBox is giving him fits ... priorities! Must get "Fix XBox" checked off of the to-do list, pronto!
Some updates:
- The boys are now officially registered with the American Embassy School. They simply need their last report cards and everything is golden! Terran is to report for highschool orientation the last full week of July, and school begins August 4th
- Everyone has been registered (online registration!) with the US Embassy/Consulate Office in Delhi.
- Todd safely arrived in Delhi on Friday morning (our time) and seems to be settling in as well as possible. He has successfully set up the Vonage phone (YIPPEEE!) and it works flawlessly. We've been Skyping as much as we can and hope to get on some sort of schedule with our chats/calls soon.
- Succesfully opened a global bank account (with seamless access in both the States and India). HSBC has AMAZING customer service and beat, hands down, the efforts of CitiBank.
- Have organized the garage into three separate areas : Salvation Army pickup, Ship & Store. It's going to be a huge help to have a spot to put things as we make decisions on their new location.
I think that a "rejuvenation" day is in order tomorrow ... as we have nothing on the calendar and the to-do list can wait.
For tonight though, the stack of movies I recently got from the library is hollering my name. That is, just as soon as I make a call to the XBox Service Center. Of course, Terran's XBox is giving him fits ... priorities! Must get "Fix XBox" checked off of the to-do list, pronto!
Spring in the Snowglobe
Thanks to OHMommy at Classy Chaos for turning me on to Animoto. Seriously and hands down the EASIEST way to create a photo slideshow!
Can't wait to use this for future photos/slideshows for your viewing pleasure once we all arrive in India!
Can't wait to use this for future photos/slideshows for your viewing pleasure once we all arrive in India!
Great Expectations
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I have been immensely blessed by several women who have given me advice, tips, support and all around "You'll be ok" reassurances.
Today, I wanted to share a guest post of sorts from Ellen, of A Reason to Write.
Her blog is on my top ten and I so look forward to posts. She has been my sanity as she rapid-fires me lists of what NOT to pack, bullet points on what TO bring and is giving me heads up on so many different levels that I'm going to owe her some SERIOUS lattes and chocolate when I arrive!
Ellen, thanks for sharing your words with the Delhi Bound readers!
The best advice I got upon hearing the news that my family was moving to India was - let go off all expectations. Nothing is a given. Murphy’s Laws are fully enforced here. And extremes are the norm. You will see a beautiful home just around the corner from a slum - literally a slum. It's sometimes hard to comprehend these extremes. So, I found this advice has been very helpful!
After a (quick) while, some of the things that take you the most by surprise will become so relatively normal that you will laugh about them. Some things will never seem “normal”.
You will visit a monument and you will be in absolute awe of its beauty. You will wonder how the Indian people managed to capture such majesty and splendor. You will relish the stories behind them and share them over and over with your family. But then you will get in the car to go home and you will wipe off your face because you are hot and sweaty and you will feel dusty and dirty and absolutely exhausted. Your legs will probably be very tired, even if you did not have to walk very far. And you will wonder almost on a daily basis why you are here. And on those same days you will find reasons to celebrate that you are here.
Those moments of clarity will come swiftly and they will whisk you away into the amazing adventure you are on. You will soak every minute in.
People ask me all the time - what is like to live in India. It’s hard to explain - really it is. Experience is worth a thousand words - you simply cannot capture all of the feelings you will have on a page or in a picture. Blogging will help you remember the details you do not want to forget - but your life here will hold the real story. How you change and become a different person will capture the essence of living here.
Everyday is different. Every ride down the road is unique. One day you will see an elephant and you will think - wow. And the next day something new and equally amazing will appear. I am working hard to not lose the amazement and amusement by what is different here. There is a magical quality that I do not want to forget.
The school is amazing in many respects. The teachers love what they do. The classes are small. The elementary school principal is spectacular. The children are interesting.
Your children will become global thinkers and more creative thinkers. So will you.
You will certainly feel like a fish whose bowl has been dumped upside down and emptied out of water. You will be amazed at all the places the families here have lived. Many of them move and move and move. I am not sure that is a fabulous thing because my children are getting wings here - but I very much want them to have their roots too.
I cast no stones though. It’s all a balancing act. And clearly some families are better suited to being constantly on the move.
There will be days when you miss your old friends terribly. But you will go to lunch with a new friend and you’ll have a good time.
As I have said to you in emails, I always knew that this would be a wonderful opportunity for my family on so many levels. And even thought there are times when I have to remind myself that it is true, I know that I was absolutely right.
~Ellen
Today, I wanted to share a guest post of sorts from Ellen, of A Reason to Write.
Her blog is on my top ten and I so look forward to posts. She has been my sanity as she rapid-fires me lists of what NOT to pack, bullet points on what TO bring and is giving me heads up on so many different levels that I'm going to owe her some SERIOUS lattes and chocolate when I arrive!
Ellen, thanks for sharing your words with the Delhi Bound readers!
The best advice I got upon hearing the news that my family was moving to India was - let go off all expectations. Nothing is a given. Murphy’s Laws are fully enforced here. And extremes are the norm. You will see a beautiful home just around the corner from a slum - literally a slum. It's sometimes hard to comprehend these extremes. So, I found this advice has been very helpful!
After a (quick) while, some of the things that take you the most by surprise will become so relatively normal that you will laugh about them. Some things will never seem “normal”.
You will visit a monument and you will be in absolute awe of its beauty. You will wonder how the Indian people managed to capture such majesty and splendor. You will relish the stories behind them and share them over and over with your family. But then you will get in the car to go home and you will wipe off your face because you are hot and sweaty and you will feel dusty and dirty and absolutely exhausted. Your legs will probably be very tired, even if you did not have to walk very far. And you will wonder almost on a daily basis why you are here. And on those same days you will find reasons to celebrate that you are here.
Those moments of clarity will come swiftly and they will whisk you away into the amazing adventure you are on. You will soak every minute in.
People ask me all the time - what is like to live in India. It’s hard to explain - really it is. Experience is worth a thousand words - you simply cannot capture all of the feelings you will have on a page or in a picture. Blogging will help you remember the details you do not want to forget - but your life here will hold the real story. How you change and become a different person will capture the essence of living here.
Everyday is different. Every ride down the road is unique. One day you will see an elephant and you will think - wow. And the next day something new and equally amazing will appear. I am working hard to not lose the amazement and amusement by what is different here. There is a magical quality that I do not want to forget.
The school is amazing in many respects. The teachers love what they do. The classes are small. The elementary school principal is spectacular. The children are interesting.
Your children will become global thinkers and more creative thinkers. So will you.
You will certainly feel like a fish whose bowl has been dumped upside down and emptied out of water. You will be amazed at all the places the families here have lived. Many of them move and move and move. I am not sure that is a fabulous thing because my children are getting wings here - but I very much want them to have their roots too.
I cast no stones though. It’s all a balancing act. And clearly some families are better suited to being constantly on the move.
There will be days when you miss your old friends terribly. But you will go to lunch with a new friend and you’ll have a good time.
As I have said to you in emails, I always knew that this would be a wonderful opportunity for my family on so many levels. And even thought there are times when I have to remind myself that it is true, I know that I was absolutely right.
~Ellen
Lost Already
I don't know how I'm supposed to do this.
I don't know how my kids will survive without the other half of their parenting team. I don't know how I'll possibly be able to store up enough reserves of energy while the littles recharge their batteries at night, to be able to give them a balanced normalcy until we get on that plane.
Sure - I am the half that stays at home with them, and does the majority of the snot-wiping, the bum changing, the homework, the laundry and ... (you get the picture).
But my other half, also happens to be the half that is the calming force in my children's lives. When I'm PMSing or just crabby "just because", he is the guy that makes everything better. When I can't possibly think of solving yet another sibling rivalry moment, he steps in and magically sets things right again.
He's the half that I go to when I can't make a decision to save my soul. He's the half that I turn to when everything around me seems to be falling apart.
How am I supposed to do THIS with THAT half over 8,000 miles away (as the crow flies, give or take some miles)?
* *
Yes --- I can hear you now. I am well aware that we're pretty used to Todd being gone - for business trips. But I ask - how do you prepare for three months? How do you explain that to your kids?
I've been reminded "Naomi, you used to be a single parent ... this should be old hat" or "If anyone can do this, YOU can do this"
Those sentiments are all fine and good, but single parenting - in the truest definition - isn't like this. My experience raising Terran by himself does not compare - in the slightest - to this.
I KNOW I can DO this ... but I feel right now as though I'll be carried through the next 93 days on an ocean of tears. Maybe it's time to put on one of my super girl tshirts and just suck it up.
* *
I'll post again tomorrow - after we've taken him to the airport, and sent him on his way. After we've sent him off with more hugs and kisses than he can possibly soak up, and probably more on top of that.
Maybe I'll be feeling better about it then ... maybe once the reality has set in, I'll be better able to sort through my emotions, buckle down and just get the things done that need to be done in order to propel us from TODAY through to July 17th.
* *
Now, Todd and I aren't any better than any other married couple, we fight and disagree and have our share of spats. No matter those fights though, this separation is still feeling pretty unbearable to me right now.
He hasn't even left yet, and I already feel lost.
Disclaimer : If I haven't mentioned this already, I type from my heart and from my gut. I don't re-read my posts before hitting "publish." I say what's on my mind, the way it comes tumbling out. I ask your forgiveness and a bit of extra grace as you read my words. They haven't been checked to see that they make sense, and they sure haven't been edited for content. It is, what it is.
I don't know how my kids will survive without the other half of their parenting team. I don't know how I'll possibly be able to store up enough reserves of energy while the littles recharge their batteries at night, to be able to give them a balanced normalcy until we get on that plane.
Sure - I am the half that stays at home with them, and does the majority of the snot-wiping, the bum changing, the homework, the laundry and ... (you get the picture).
But my other half, also happens to be the half that is the calming force in my children's lives. When I'm PMSing or just crabby "just because", he is the guy that makes everything better. When I can't possibly think of solving yet another sibling rivalry moment, he steps in and magically sets things right again.
He's the half that I go to when I can't make a decision to save my soul. He's the half that I turn to when everything around me seems to be falling apart.
How am I supposed to do THIS with THAT half over 8,000 miles away (as the crow flies, give or take some miles)?
* *
Yes --- I can hear you now. I am well aware that we're pretty used to Todd being gone - for business trips. But I ask - how do you prepare for three months? How do you explain that to your kids?
I've been reminded "Naomi, you used to be a single parent ... this should be old hat" or "If anyone can do this, YOU can do this"
Those sentiments are all fine and good, but single parenting - in the truest definition - isn't like this. My experience raising Terran by himself does not compare - in the slightest - to this.
I KNOW I can DO this ... but I feel right now as though I'll be carried through the next 93 days on an ocean of tears. Maybe it's time to put on one of my super girl tshirts and just suck it up.
* *
I'll post again tomorrow - after we've taken him to the airport, and sent him on his way. After we've sent him off with more hugs and kisses than he can possibly soak up, and probably more on top of that.
Maybe I'll be feeling better about it then ... maybe once the reality has set in, I'll be better able to sort through my emotions, buckle down and just get the things done that need to be done in order to propel us from TODAY through to July 17th.
* *
Now, Todd and I aren't any better than any other married couple, we fight and disagree and have our share of spats. No matter those fights though, this separation is still feeling pretty unbearable to me right now.
He hasn't even left yet, and I already feel lost.
Disclaimer : If I haven't mentioned this already, I type from my heart and from my gut. I don't re-read my posts before hitting "publish." I say what's on my mind, the way it comes tumbling out. I ask your forgiveness and a bit of extra grace as you read my words. They haven't been checked to see that they make sense, and they sure haven't been edited for content. It is, what it is.
Valuations ... Schm-aluations
I am SOOO tired of looking at the "Household - The List" document that I created.
I am sick of looking over the contents of it - the contents of our house ... our home ... relegated to line items.
Everyone seems to want valuations of our household goods. The insurance company, the storage unit, the moving company, the IRS (for donation purposes).
Just how do you determine a replacement value for the itty bitty teensy weensy clothes that your babies wore home from the hospital?
Explain to me what price you put on the hundreds of lego pieces, Little Pet Shop animals and Star Wars mini-guys?
What on earth do you say that the years of memorabilia is worth that your 8th grader has painstakingly hoarded?
How much is the frame worth that contains pictures from the only time you've had alone with your husband - complete with the cork from a bottle of wine, and really cool coral from the ocean off of the island of St. Croix?
I'm also - since I'm speaking frankly - tired of the ongoing debate between Todd and I about what to keep, what to store and what to ship. Don't get me wrong - it's not an argument ... but we just can't seem to make up our minds. One day, it appears that we've reached a decision. But ask us the next day, and half of the "donate" list has somehow miraculously made it over to the "store" side of the columns.
I used to think that Excel was a pretty cool program ... but here lately, am just so tired of looking at it. I open the spreadsheet in an attempt to work on it, and then close it seconds later in disgust.
I'm hoping to schedule the Salvation Army truck AND the movers this week, so that I have a deadline. A date certain by which to make up my mind - for once and for all.
Hey, while you're here ... does anyone want the snow shovels?
I am sick of looking over the contents of it - the contents of our house ... our home ... relegated to line items.
Everyone seems to want valuations of our household goods. The insurance company, the storage unit, the moving company, the IRS (for donation purposes).
Just how do you determine a replacement value for the itty bitty teensy weensy clothes that your babies wore home from the hospital?
Explain to me what price you put on the hundreds of lego pieces, Little Pet Shop animals and Star Wars mini-guys?
What on earth do you say that the years of memorabilia is worth that your 8th grader has painstakingly hoarded?
How much is the frame worth that contains pictures from the only time you've had alone with your husband - complete with the cork from a bottle of wine, and really cool coral from the ocean off of the island of St. Croix?
I'm also - since I'm speaking frankly - tired of the ongoing debate between Todd and I about what to keep, what to store and what to ship. Don't get me wrong - it's not an argument ... but we just can't seem to make up our minds. One day, it appears that we've reached a decision. But ask us the next day, and half of the "donate" list has somehow miraculously made it over to the "store" side of the columns.
I used to think that Excel was a pretty cool program ... but here lately, am just so tired of looking at it. I open the spreadsheet in an attempt to work on it, and then close it seconds later in disgust.
I'm hoping to schedule the Salvation Army truck AND the movers this week, so that I have a deadline. A date certain by which to make up my mind - for once and for all.
Hey, while you're here ... does anyone want the snow shovels?
911
So ... there is no 911 when you live overseas.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
This brings all sorts of shades of red flags a-waving in my head.
I'm thinking I need to add "get certified with the Red Cross" to my to-do list.
Which week should it go in, you think?
If you're currently living overseas, I'd love to have you weigh in on ambulance services and 911 - or the lack thereof.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
This brings all sorts of shades of red flags a-waving in my head.
I'm thinking I need to add "get certified with the Red Cross" to my to-do list.
Which week should it go in, you think?
If you're currently living overseas, I'd love to have you weigh in on ambulance services and 911 - or the lack thereof.
Affirmation
You know how it feels to make a big decision, and then second-guess that decision?
While I'd be lying if I said I hadn't second guessed this decision to move to India, I have always felt that it was right. Knowing that this was right for our family doesn't mean that there aren't times when I want to just cry, or scream or just zone out and act like a zombie.
I know our family is cut out for this, and we will thrive in our new home and in a new country. That doesn't mean there won't be struggles or moments of sheer desperation.
I know that Todd is more than capable of this job that has been laid out before him. He is amazing at what he does and this company will be better just for having him. That doesn't mean that he's not stressed out, or that there won't be multiple challenges that hit him upside the head, the moment his plane touches down.
What I also know is that there are times in our lives when we make a hard decision ... when we just decide to try something new ... when we go "out on a limb" and change our circumstances.
We have had so many affirmations that our decision was the right one. Just a few:
It feels great to have made our decision ... and then to watch it be backed up by support, assistance and the pieces falling together to make an amazing puzzle.
Now, I know that this is more than just coincidence ... and more than a situation where a "good family" is being rewarded for being "good people." Whether you are a *religious* person or not, this IS a God thing ... not just something so silly as the Universe affirming our decision ... so please don't misread my comments. All I'm saying is that is nice to have small things (and some big things) happen to reassure you ... and affirm!
While I'd be lying if I said I hadn't second guessed this decision to move to India, I have always felt that it was right. Knowing that this was right for our family doesn't mean that there aren't times when I want to just cry, or scream or just zone out and act like a zombie.
I know our family is cut out for this, and we will thrive in our new home and in a new country. That doesn't mean there won't be struggles or moments of sheer desperation.
I know that Todd is more than capable of this job that has been laid out before him. He is amazing at what he does and this company will be better just for having him. That doesn't mean that he's not stressed out, or that there won't be multiple challenges that hit him upside the head, the moment his plane touches down.
What I also know is that there are times in our lives when we make a hard decision ... when we just decide to try something new ... when we go "out on a limb" and change our circumstances.
We have had so many affirmations that our decision was the right one. Just a few:
- I got an email (a very touching email) from one half of our realtor team that reaffirmed to me that we'd made the right choice.
- Todd sold his truck only ONE day after listing it FOR the price he wanted. YAY!
- Our kids were given a spot at the school we wanted so badly, with little to no hassles.
- Our Visas were issued WITHOUT hassle or delay.
- I have been put in touch (and have started the roots of a friendship) with SO many amazing people that will help ease our transition once we arrive (and before, for that matter). Ellen, Jeanne, TJ, Cindy to name a few.
It feels great to have made our decision ... and then to watch it be backed up by support, assistance and the pieces falling together to make an amazing puzzle.
Now, I know that this is more than just coincidence ... and more than a situation where a "good family" is being rewarded for being "good people." Whether you are a *religious* person or not, this IS a God thing ... not just something so silly as the Universe affirming our decision ... so please don't misread my comments. All I'm saying is that is nice to have small things (and some big things) happen to reassure you ... and affirm!
Seeing the Sights
How cool is this?
A new friend (who lives in the Delhi area) passed along a website that linked to the Urban Crayon Press : Delhi :
Rediscover Delhi through your Child’s Eyes!Run out of ideas to entertain kids over the week-end?
Want to plan an unusual family holiday?
Stressed about child-unfriendly places?
This family-friendly travel guide highlights all the fun things to do in New Delhi that will keep your little globetrotters entertained.
Arranged in twelve useful categories such as Playground Paradise (trips to gardens, nature walks); Dudes (activities for boys); Divas (options for girls); and Day Trippin’ (outdoor adventurous fun); the guide caters to your child’s different moods and inclinations.
Urban Crayon not only helps families plan a memorable trip in the city, it tells them what to do (the train museum is a must-see) and where to go when the little ones, well, need to go (some of the cleanest bathrooms can be found in Santushti shopping complex and some of the best stores, too).
Each section gives families ideas for different age groups and sexes, and for different occasions. Have you tried the Ice-cream Museum? Did you know your kids can do rock climbing, ballooning and parasailing near Delhi? What are the most fun places to take your nine-year-old daughter for a girly treat? And which are the most child-friendly coffee shops in the city?
Bursting with great ideas, Urban Crayon Delhi is the indispensible guide for every parent in the city.
I emailed the company to inquire as to where I could purchase a specific book, and ended up trading emails with Kim, the owner of Urban Crayon Press. Her first reply was humorous, as she asked whether her driver could drop off the books to us.
We plan to touch bases when we arrive in Delhi so that I can get my hands on some of her books.
It was way fun to then receive an email from a friend here in Ohio, asking me "Have you heard about this?" and forwarding me this piece from Daily Babble
It really is a small world ...
Moving Forward
The calendar says that we have 5 days left with Todd before he heads across the ocean. 4.5 days, to be exact.
There are some moments where I want to run around like a crazy chicken (have you ever seen a chicken who has recently lost its head?) and fit all of these activities into these last days ... and some moments where I just want to cuddle on the couch and watch the kids play with Daddy.
I know that the next three months is going to be rough, but I also know that it is do-able ... it will all work out just fine and while I might be a little more tired, and the kids a little sad and Daddy a little homesick, it will just all work out.
We went out last night to do some shopping and to purchase some things for Todd and we realized that once he gets on that plane, we will be separated for 93 days. Yikes.
We are waiting to hear back from the moving company about finalizing our sea shipment pack date (sometime the first week of June), have signed paperwork for the realtor (we'll be putting the house on the market after the movers come) and I've got the carpets lined up to be cleaned.
Since the house will be empty once the movers are done, I've lined up a hotel for us to stay in that last week of school and have arranged for Terran to stay with friends (thank you friends!) so that he can have some last hoorahs with his buddies AND I'll have a bit easier of a time since I'd have to leave the hotel early to get him to school without being tardy.
This process really has been easier when we think of it "working backwards." Pick an end target date (for us, July 16th) and then simply work backwards from that!
Although, once Daddy gets on that plane, it's going to be all about keeping these kids busy, distracted and moving forward. Moving forward so that we can do what needs to be done here, but get everything prepared for our new life in India.
Moving forward - it's simply an act of putting one foot in front of the other, being willing to take a possible detour, and then continuing the process of putting one foot in front of the other.
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. ~ Walt Disney
There are some moments where I want to run around like a crazy chicken (have you ever seen a chicken who has recently lost its head?) and fit all of these activities into these last days ... and some moments where I just want to cuddle on the couch and watch the kids play with Daddy.
I know that the next three months is going to be rough, but I also know that it is do-able ... it will all work out just fine and while I might be a little more tired, and the kids a little sad and Daddy a little homesick, it will just all work out.
We went out last night to do some shopping and to purchase some things for Todd and we realized that once he gets on that plane, we will be separated for 93 days. Yikes.
We are waiting to hear back from the moving company about finalizing our sea shipment pack date (sometime the first week of June), have signed paperwork for the realtor (we'll be putting the house on the market after the movers come) and I've got the carpets lined up to be cleaned.
Since the house will be empty once the movers are done, I've lined up a hotel for us to stay in that last week of school and have arranged for Terran to stay with friends (thank you friends!) so that he can have some last hoorahs with his buddies AND I'll have a bit easier of a time since I'd have to leave the hotel early to get him to school without being tardy.
This process really has been easier when we think of it "working backwards." Pick an end target date (for us, July 16th) and then simply work backwards from that!
Although, once Daddy gets on that plane, it's going to be all about keeping these kids busy, distracted and moving forward. Moving forward so that we can do what needs to be done here, but get everything prepared for our new life in India.
Moving forward - it's simply an act of putting one foot in front of the other, being willing to take a possible detour, and then continuing the process of putting one foot in front of the other.
We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. ~ Walt Disney
Perspective
I am a quote lover. Lover of quotes. They fuel me and challenge me.
I am putting together a 90 day care package for Todd to take with him to Delhi. Little somethings for every day we are apart. One of the suggestions made to me was to give him "a piece of my mind" (but in a good way) and provide him with 90 quotes. Thanks Sister for digging for these!
Here are some of my favorite. How do they move YOU?
If we did all of the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~ Thomas Edison
If, after all, men cannot always make history have meaning, they can always act so that their own lives have on. ~ Albert Camus
Experience is NOT what happens to you. It is what you do WITH what happens to you. Aldous Huxley
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. ~Helen Keller
Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until we have been stuck, incapacitated or blown off course for awhile. Plain sailing is pleasant, but you are not going to explore many unknown realms that way. ~David Whyte
I am putting together a 90 day care package for Todd to take with him to Delhi. Little somethings for every day we are apart. One of the suggestions made to me was to give him "a piece of my mind" (but in a good way) and provide him with 90 quotes. Thanks Sister for digging for these!
Here are some of my favorite. How do they move YOU?
If we did all of the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~ Thomas Edison
If, after all, men cannot always make history have meaning, they can always act so that their own lives have on. ~ Albert Camus
Experience is NOT what happens to you. It is what you do WITH what happens to you. Aldous Huxley
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable. ~Helen Keller
Some things cannot be spoken or discovered until we have been stuck, incapacitated or blown off course for awhile. Plain sailing is pleasant, but you are not going to explore many unknown realms that way. ~David Whyte
Another man's treasure
Bless my neighbor Kim for snapping these photos.
We spent the entire weekend cleaning out the garage and shed and got quite a bit accomplished.
Through this process I have wrestled a bit with what to take to the local charity drop box, what to try and find a new home for specific items and what to simply trash.
My patience level was short and my energy waning this weekend, and most of the items from the garage/shed ended up in the trash.
Fast forward to trash day, before the garbage truck passed through our neighborhood.
I got not one, but TWO phone calls about two separate occasions that the man pictured above decided to dig through our trash. Literally DIG.
Sure, there were some large items that were visible from the street (but we don't live on a high traffic road at ALL!) ... but in addition to grabbing those large visible items on the first trip through, he also came back a second time to RIP open the trash bags and peruse our trash as well that way.
(no worries ... any of our trash containing personal items has found its way to the burn pile)
Now, I don't know his situation or circumstances and feel badly if he is suffering or going through a rough time. But tearing open my garbage bags?
Fast forward again to yesterday. We currently have someone painting/patching the house and we realized that we had JUST thrown away the yellow paint for the basement. CRAP! I don't have the energy to get a paint sample and try to match that color for the patching of the basement walls.
Todd came home from work last night and told me that the "garbage guy" had decided against taking some of the paint, and quite possibly maybe ... just maybe ... he'd decided that our *sunshine yellow* was a bit too bright for him.
Sure enough ... the can of yellow paint was sitting out in our grass this morning.
Bless the "garbage guy" for looking, but deciding against taking that sunshine yellow! Brightened up MY day!
We spent the entire weekend cleaning out the garage and shed and got quite a bit accomplished.
Through this process I have wrestled a bit with what to take to the local charity drop box, what to try and find a new home for specific items and what to simply trash.
My patience level was short and my energy waning this weekend, and most of the items from the garage/shed ended up in the trash.
Fast forward to trash day, before the garbage truck passed through our neighborhood.
I got not one, but TWO phone calls about two separate occasions that the man pictured above decided to dig through our trash. Literally DIG.
Sure, there were some large items that were visible from the street (but we don't live on a high traffic road at ALL!) ... but in addition to grabbing those large visible items on the first trip through, he also came back a second time to RIP open the trash bags and peruse our trash as well that way.
(no worries ... any of our trash containing personal items has found its way to the burn pile)
~ ~
Now, I don't know his situation or circumstances and feel badly if he is suffering or going through a rough time. But tearing open my garbage bags?
Fast forward again to yesterday. We currently have someone painting/patching the house and we realized that we had JUST thrown away the yellow paint for the basement. CRAP! I don't have the energy to get a paint sample and try to match that color for the patching of the basement walls.
Todd came home from work last night and told me that the "garbage guy" had decided against taking some of the paint, and quite possibly maybe ... just maybe ... he'd decided that our *sunshine yellow* was a bit too bright for him.
Sure enough ... the can of yellow paint was sitting out in our grass this morning.
Bless the "garbage guy" for looking, but deciding against taking that sunshine yellow! Brightened up MY day!
VOIP & Skype
I literally learn something new every day through this process.
I have been scouring other blogs in the hopes of learning about the various telephone options for us in India.
Most important on this week's list has been figuring out a way for us to communicate with Todd for the three months we'll be separated.
We've learned alot about Skype and Todd has ordered a webcam for his laptop. We plan to video chat OFTEN, video chat SILLY and video chat bedtime stories!
We've learned alot about VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) .. actually MORE than I need to know. Vonage is truly a COOL thing. I'm excited to try it out AND have "free" phone calls back home!
I'm not one to sign up for anything on the first go-round though. I get my information, think on it a bit, cost compare and talk it over with Todd. In a grand gesture of amazing customer service, I received 7 phone calls from Vonage, after my initial fact-finding call of this morning. They really want to make sure they get you signed up!
It was a good thing though, really. We ended up with all normal start-up costs waived, and the VOIP device is even being shipped to us for free. Score. Or maybe everyone gets that "deal", and they just like to make you feel special?
We've got a cool new number, which allows us to make FREE calls to the Vonage number (which Todd will have in India with him) from our (440) area code. For those of you outside of the (440) area code, normal long distance fees will apply when you call (NO international crazy fees here!).
Once Todd arrives and gets settled, I'll pass along the new Vonage number to friends/family. If you're so inclined, download Skype and get it ready to rock on your computer. It's another free service - allowing you to have regualr chats, video chats and supposedly computer-to-computer calls as well.
The information/technology highway is a cool thing indeed!
I have been scouring other blogs in the hopes of learning about the various telephone options for us in India.
Most important on this week's list has been figuring out a way for us to communicate with Todd for the three months we'll be separated.
We've learned alot about Skype and Todd has ordered a webcam for his laptop. We plan to video chat OFTEN, video chat SILLY and video chat bedtime stories!
We've learned alot about VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) .. actually MORE than I need to know. Vonage is truly a COOL thing. I'm excited to try it out AND have "free" phone calls back home!
I'm not one to sign up for anything on the first go-round though. I get my information, think on it a bit, cost compare and talk it over with Todd. In a grand gesture of amazing customer service, I received 7 phone calls from Vonage, after my initial fact-finding call of this morning. They really want to make sure they get you signed up!
It was a good thing though, really. We ended up with all normal start-up costs waived, and the VOIP device is even being shipped to us for free. Score. Or maybe everyone gets that "deal", and they just like to make you feel special?
We've got a cool new number, which allows us to make FREE calls to the Vonage number (which Todd will have in India with him) from our (440) area code. For those of you outside of the (440) area code, normal long distance fees will apply when you call (NO international crazy fees here!).
Once Todd arrives and gets settled, I'll pass along the new Vonage number to friends/family. If you're so inclined, download Skype and get it ready to rock on your computer. It's another free service - allowing you to have regualr chats, video chats and supposedly computer-to-computer calls as well.
The information/technology highway is a cool thing indeed!
Have Visa, Will Travel
I just received an email notification that all four passports (the kids and mine) are on their way back to us, with a shiny new India Visa stamp in them!
Can I just say that I'm pretty impressed that our kids have passports (first of all) and that they are soon to have some amazing memories and experiences "stamped" in their minds forever?
We were just reminiscing the other day and looking at Terran's old passport ... complete with a stamp from Johannesburg, South Africa and then Nairobi, Kenya. Then there's Todd's old passports ... talk about some experiences there! Russia, Brazil, Italy to name a few.
Our children will soon expand their global awareness ... and I'm thrilled about that.
I've long been fascinated with all things travel.
(Of course there is a difference between --- sailing the ocean blue on a cruise ship to somewhere romantic, where your days are filled with shore excursions and mojitos --- and shipping your belongings to be sent across that ocean, where your initial days are possibly filled with travelers' diarrhea and Immodium AD.)
I can't wait until the passports are back in our hand. It has felt quite disconcerting this past week or so to have them off in the hands of the Consulate's office ... hoping that we filled all of the questions out correctly and that we would be granted our entrance into the country, without any problems.
With our passports, our seatbelts buckled, the prayers of our friends and family, and an attitude of "why not" our family will grow together, prosper, and have stories to tell that you might not even believe!
Can I just say that I'm pretty impressed that our kids have passports (first of all) and that they are soon to have some amazing memories and experiences "stamped" in their minds forever?
We were just reminiscing the other day and looking at Terran's old passport ... complete with a stamp from Johannesburg, South Africa and then Nairobi, Kenya. Then there's Todd's old passports ... talk about some experiences there! Russia, Brazil, Italy to name a few.
Our children will soon expand their global awareness ... and I'm thrilled about that.
I've long been fascinated with all things travel.
(Of course there is a difference between --- sailing the ocean blue on a cruise ship to somewhere romantic, where your days are filled with shore excursions and mojitos --- and shipping your belongings to be sent across that ocean, where your initial days are possibly filled with travelers' diarrhea and Immodium AD.)
I can't wait until the passports are back in our hand. It has felt quite disconcerting this past week or so to have them off in the hands of the Consulate's office ... hoping that we filled all of the questions out correctly and that we would be granted our entrance into the country, without any problems.
With our passports, our seatbelts buckled, the prayers of our friends and family, and an attitude of "why not" our family will grow together, prosper, and have stories to tell that you might not even believe!
Running rampant
I have been caught up lately in the list making, the crazy mountain of obstacles to climb over, around and through ... and find myself forgetting to dial in to how this is affecting me.
Mothers across the world struggle with their identity. We know what our "job" is, but often we find ourselves losing sight and perspective of the bigger picture.
We change diapers, make carpool runs, schedule playdates, cook meals, wash dirty clothes, clean smears repetitively off of the same windows over and over.
We drive cars with leftovers of yesterday's snacks on the floor, listen to WAY too much kiddie music, wipe noses, help with homework, pay bills, keep everyone in clothes that fit, clean out the litter box and sweep floors.
We hold our children's hands as they go to the doctor, reassure our teenagers that life WILL get better, support our husbands even when we are starving for some understanding ourselves.
We are friends, mothers, lovers, wives, daughters, coaches, teachers, counselors, neighbors, and more.
I don't really know what the point of this post is, quite honestly ... but I do know that I have been neglecting myself through this process. I have put high on the priority list my desire to make this adventure as "normal" and "easy" as it can be for the kids. I wake up every morning hoping for enough energy to be the right kind of a support to Todd as I can be, without possessing the true understanding of what kind of support he actually needs.
I was part of the decision to move a 14 year old - in the "prime of his life" as he knows it, to a foreign country. Away from his amazing friends, his love of lacrosse and football, his outstanding highschool that he was so excited to attend. I struggle to make sure that he is getting what he needs from me so that I don't fail him.
I have really had a hard time this week though personally. I find myself short on patience, quick to tears and just incredibly anxious.
I am all too aware that my friends don't quite know how to help me ... don't quite know what to say. I am VERY cognizent of the fact that my husband doesn't quite know what I need either.
He has a million and one things on his plate and a million MORE things coursing through his head at any given moment. He is leaving two weeks from today and that - in and of itself - is hard to swallow.
He will leave on April 16th and it is likely we won't see him again until we land in Delhi on July 17th. THREE MONTHS LATER. He is leaving me behind ... frankly ... to finish things up and hold things together.
I know that the easy answer is to "make time for myself" and see to it that I get a sitter, get some gym time in, get a massage or go for lunch with friends. But it's more than that.
It's more about making sure that I am true to myself through this process.
As a mother, I think it's normal to lose yourself while you're so focused on raising your children. Even more so now, I feel it is so important to not lose myself as well as I prepare for this next step in our lives.
I need to be able to speak my mind about how I feel. I need to be able to sit with whatever emotions the moment may bring. I need to honor my dear friends' wishes to help me. To listen to me, to assist with tasks, to be there for me when I need it.
I need to do a better job of tuning in with who I am. Not as the kids' mother, not as Todd's wife, not as someone who started a running club, or hosted Rock-n-Tot events. Just who I am. At the end of the day. When the activities and goings on of the previous 12 hours are just distant memories, I need to be fully aware (or at least MORE aware) of whether I am proud of myself.
Amidst the responsibilities of being a mother and a wife ... and outside of the scope of this move to India ... I want to have good answers to:
Am I proud of how I handled a situation? Did I reach out to someone who needed my help? Did I treat my children with the love and respect they deserve? Did I spend some quiet time with myeslf? Did I do at least one thing to make my world a better place? Did I do something FOR myself?
I've run out of time to write ... we have a playdate and they are due soon off of the bus and the littlest one is hollering for lunch.
I'm still not really sure what the point of this post was, except to just document some things from my my head and onto this page. I don't want to simply coast through life just getting by ... I want to run rampant through life and soak it all up, use it all up, be the best I can be.
Mothers across the world struggle with their identity. We know what our "job" is, but often we find ourselves losing sight and perspective of the bigger picture.
We change diapers, make carpool runs, schedule playdates, cook meals, wash dirty clothes, clean smears repetitively off of the same windows over and over.
We drive cars with leftovers of yesterday's snacks on the floor, listen to WAY too much kiddie music, wipe noses, help with homework, pay bills, keep everyone in clothes that fit, clean out the litter box and sweep floors.
We hold our children's hands as they go to the doctor, reassure our teenagers that life WILL get better, support our husbands even when we are starving for some understanding ourselves.
We are friends, mothers, lovers, wives, daughters, coaches, teachers, counselors, neighbors, and more.
I don't really know what the point of this post is, quite honestly ... but I do know that I have been neglecting myself through this process. I have put high on the priority list my desire to make this adventure as "normal" and "easy" as it can be for the kids. I wake up every morning hoping for enough energy to be the right kind of a support to Todd as I can be, without possessing the true understanding of what kind of support he actually needs.
I was part of the decision to move a 14 year old - in the "prime of his life" as he knows it, to a foreign country. Away from his amazing friends, his love of lacrosse and football, his outstanding highschool that he was so excited to attend. I struggle to make sure that he is getting what he needs from me so that I don't fail him.
I have really had a hard time this week though personally. I find myself short on patience, quick to tears and just incredibly anxious.
I am all too aware that my friends don't quite know how to help me ... don't quite know what to say. I am VERY cognizent of the fact that my husband doesn't quite know what I need either.
He has a million and one things on his plate and a million MORE things coursing through his head at any given moment. He is leaving two weeks from today and that - in and of itself - is hard to swallow.
He will leave on April 16th and it is likely we won't see him again until we land in Delhi on July 17th. THREE MONTHS LATER. He is leaving me behind ... frankly ... to finish things up and hold things together.
I know that the easy answer is to "make time for myself" and see to it that I get a sitter, get some gym time in, get a massage or go for lunch with friends. But it's more than that.
It's more about making sure that I am true to myself through this process.
As a mother, I think it's normal to lose yourself while you're so focused on raising your children. Even more so now, I feel it is so important to not lose myself as well as I prepare for this next step in our lives.
I need to be able to speak my mind about how I feel. I need to be able to sit with whatever emotions the moment may bring. I need to honor my dear friends' wishes to help me. To listen to me, to assist with tasks, to be there for me when I need it.
I need to do a better job of tuning in with who I am. Not as the kids' mother, not as Todd's wife, not as someone who started a running club, or hosted Rock-n-Tot events. Just who I am. At the end of the day. When the activities and goings on of the previous 12 hours are just distant memories, I need to be fully aware (or at least MORE aware) of whether I am proud of myself.
Amidst the responsibilities of being a mother and a wife ... and outside of the scope of this move to India ... I want to have good answers to:
Am I proud of how I handled a situation? Did I reach out to someone who needed my help? Did I treat my children with the love and respect they deserve? Did I spend some quiet time with myeslf? Did I do at least one thing to make my world a better place? Did I do something FOR myself?
I've run out of time to write ... we have a playdate and they are due soon off of the bus and the littlest one is hollering for lunch.
I'm still not really sure what the point of this post was, except to just document some things from my my head and onto this page. I don't want to simply coast through life just getting by ... I want to run rampant through life and soak it all up, use it all up, be the best I can be.
Checklist ... a week at a glance
I mentioned earlier that I would post my to-do list, simply for the intention of maybe helping someone else out through this process.
I do not intend you to actually read this post, as it is quite boring and not at all exciting. I have removed all of the specific line items that are personal to our family (specific utilities, specific memberships, etc.)
This list is also not inclusive of everything that might need to be on the list. It is simply a starting point to use as a springboard if you need to create your own!
I went through and labeled each action item with the corresponding week it needed to be completed, so that at a glance, I could reconcile whether I was falling behind with a task, or right on schedule.
When this process first started ... with Week One ... I had:
Without further ado, I present to you ... the India To-Do List:
WEEK ONE
Apply for Todd's Employment Visa
start HSBC bank account
begin process of gathering school records, recommendation letters and medical records for school application
if animals are concerned, schedule consultation with their vet to learn of required vaccinations, quarantine laws, flight options for them, etc.
WEEK TWO
close any dormant bank or credit accounts
Decide whether to continue life insurance policies
Meet with Realtors for interviews
Redraft Wills
Research Travel Clinic vaccinations requirements
schedule/find sea shipment company
Todd's Flight arrangements on front end
update/cancel TiVo
WEEK THREE
Advise insurance company of intent to move
family Visa Applications - obtain necessary letters and proof information
book Delhi flights
arrange any travel plans before leaving the country
schedule service appointments for any electronics making the trip (camera, video camera, game systems, etc.)
collect legal docs - marriage, birth, adoption certificates
copies of insurance docs, med records, optical, dental records,
Create Power of Attorney for unfinalized sale of house
remove photos/frames from wall, patch/repaint
Schedule tax/financial advice meeting
Supply of passport sized photos
Todd's initial packing, go through clothes
WEEK FOUR
investigate warranties for household appliances being sold with the house, renew if necessary
Inventory contents of home and begin making list of what ships, what stores and what is given away or sold
Schedule Travel Clinic vaccinations
sort file cabinets TAKE, STORE, DESTROY
voter registration change
investigate Cobra insurance, flex plan details
buy multiple "tool kits" for loaning out
create binder for new homeowners
WEEK FIVE
Decide on which credit cards to leave open, which to close
investigate cancellation policies for cell phones, gym memberships, cable, etc
detail, wash and wax vehicles
for sale ads for vehicles
AAA international driving permit
hepa air filters
any necessary household repairs need ... obtain estimates and quotes
WEEK SIX
Arrange for the yard care and property check on regular basis
Arrange off-site storage
Arrange with post office for change of address
Receive quotes for final house cleaning after personal property has been shipped
WEEK SEVEN
safe deposit box for docs and valuables
final dentist appointments
final doctor appointments
Arrange for temporary housing
WEEK EIGHT
research clubs, memberships, sporting events and investigate membership rqeuirements for new location
cancel magazine/newspaper subscriptions
Cancel water delivery, bulk store memberships, etc.
drain machines of gas
inventory off-site storage
notify family/friends of address change
Surface clean furniture
Wash all bedding
WEEK NINE
Utilities notification
purchase converters
schedule haircuts
WEEK TEN
pack sea shipment
WEEK ELEVEN
deplete alcohol
deplete cleaning supplies
deplete food storage
dispose of houseplants
WEEK TWELVE
defrost fridge/freezer
pack carryons (passport, visa, tickets, $, jewelry, valuables, vacc records, drivers license, meds, address book, change of clothes)
pack kids' carryons
Pack the suitcases we are taking as luggage
WEEK THIRTEEN
Final house cleaning
Final walkthrough with realtors
I do not intend you to actually read this post, as it is quite boring and not at all exciting. I have removed all of the specific line items that are personal to our family (specific utilities, specific memberships, etc.)
This list is also not inclusive of everything that might need to be on the list. It is simply a starting point to use as a springboard if you need to create your own!
I went through and labeled each action item with the corresponding week it needed to be completed, so that at a glance, I could reconcile whether I was falling behind with a task, or right on schedule.
When this process first started ... with Week One ... I had:
- 6 weeks before Todd left for India
- 13 weeks before the kids and I left Ohio
- 18 weeks before the kids and I left the United States
Without further ado, I present to you ... the India To-Do List:
WEEK ONE
Apply for Todd's Employment Visa
start HSBC bank account
begin process of gathering school records, recommendation letters and medical records for school application
if animals are concerned, schedule consultation with their vet to learn of required vaccinations, quarantine laws, flight options for them, etc.
WEEK TWO
close any dormant bank or credit accounts
Decide whether to continue life insurance policies
Meet with Realtors for interviews
Redraft Wills
Research Travel Clinic vaccinations requirements
schedule/find sea shipment company
Todd's Flight arrangements on front end
update/cancel TiVo
WEEK THREE
Advise insurance company of intent to move
family Visa Applications - obtain necessary letters and proof information
book Delhi flights
arrange any travel plans before leaving the country
schedule service appointments for any electronics making the trip (camera, video camera, game systems, etc.)
collect legal docs - marriage, birth, adoption certificates
copies of insurance docs, med records, optical, dental records,
Create Power of Attorney for unfinalized sale of house
remove photos/frames from wall, patch/repaint
Schedule tax/financial advice meeting
Supply of passport sized photos
Todd's initial packing, go through clothes
WEEK FOUR
investigate warranties for household appliances being sold with the house, renew if necessary
Inventory contents of home and begin making list of what ships, what stores and what is given away or sold
Schedule Travel Clinic vaccinations
sort file cabinets TAKE, STORE, DESTROY
voter registration change
investigate Cobra insurance, flex plan details
buy multiple "tool kits" for loaning out
create binder for new homeowners
WEEK FIVE
Decide on which credit cards to leave open, which to close
investigate cancellation policies for cell phones, gym memberships, cable, etc
detail, wash and wax vehicles
for sale ads for vehicles
AAA international driving permit
hepa air filters
any necessary household repairs need ... obtain estimates and quotes
WEEK SIX
Arrange for the yard care and property check on regular basis
Arrange off-site storage
Arrange with post office for change of address
Receive quotes for final house cleaning after personal property has been shipped
WEEK SEVEN
safe deposit box for docs and valuables
final dentist appointments
final doctor appointments
Arrange for temporary housing
WEEK EIGHT
research clubs, memberships, sporting events and investigate membership rqeuirements for new location
cancel magazine/newspaper subscriptions
Cancel water delivery, bulk store memberships, etc.
drain machines of gas
inventory off-site storage
notify family/friends of address change
Surface clean furniture
Wash all bedding
WEEK NINE
Utilities notification
purchase converters
schedule haircuts
WEEK TEN
pack sea shipment
WEEK ELEVEN
deplete alcohol
deplete cleaning supplies
deplete food storage
dispose of houseplants
WEEK TWELVE
defrost fridge/freezer
pack carryons (passport, visa, tickets, $, jewelry, valuables, vacc records, drivers license, meds, address book, change of clothes)
pack kids' carryons
Pack the suitcases we are taking as luggage
WEEK THIRTEEN
Final house cleaning
Final walkthrough with realtors
From my door.
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When I step outside onto the deck that we designed and had built, this is one of our views. I'm participating in Everything But The Grill's week of photos.
I enjoy country living. I get a kick out of opening my door and hearing the roosters next door (and the horse, the donkeys, the goats, the geese, the dogs). I love seeing the sunrise with nothing to obscure my view. I am constantly amazed at the visibility of the stars (there are SO few street lights here that I usually have a peppered sky to gaze at, full of thousands of stars).
I am going to miss my "country living" I'm sure as we make the move to India. I'm going to miss the crisp feel of the air in January, the soggy but fertile ground as my plants from last year struggle to pop through the soil and start to bloom. I'm going to miss the option for the kids to "just go play outside" in the yard and run themselves ragged, while Donut chases them.
I'm going to miss the geese and cranes that make themselves at home in our pond, and listening to the frogs birrup at night (that's just what it sounds like they are doing, to me - birruping). I'm also going to miss the amazing show of color as the leaves lose their color in the fall.
I'm so looking forward to all of the new things we get to experience, but I sure am going to miss these "four walls" and the land that we chose as our home back in 2005.
Todd has sent off a request to the folks over in India, asking for a preview of sorts of our choices for housing arrangements once we arrive.
Hard to imagine that in just over two weeks, Todd will have a WHOLE new view from HIS front door.
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