A peachy affair

Who: Prachi Desai
Where: Opening of Sangam Big Cinemas

Love the dress color and the printed shoes/slim belt are a nice touch. Other than that, its a cute safe look...

photo credits: bollywoodhungama.com

Daily dose of Sonam & Aisha gang

Today, we have only Sonam and that also her twitter pic:-)



Sonam wore a sequins Jacket dress by Vizyon. From what I know of Vizyon, its a brand that brings together international designers in India and its not a designer's name.. I love sequins but a sequined jacket dress is tough thing to wear and those shoes aren't helping. Dont they ruin something that could have been really edgy and chic? That dress needs heels and an attitude to match..What do u guys think - yay or nay?


photo credits: sonam kapoor' twitter stream

THE CLASSIFIEDS

 Need a car?

Need a new place to live?

Need a job?

Need a massage?

Need a husband?

We just celebrated our anniversary.  Seven years of ups and downs ... and everything in between.  We chose each other.  We made the decision to say "I will" to the list of marital requirements, with friends and family as our witnesses.


We didn't know each other for very long before we exchanged rings and promised to stick by each others' side and to walk down our path of life together for the rest of our lives.  


We weren't truly aware of each others' shortcomings, bad habits, passions or the things that absolutely drove each of us crazy.  Seven months is a relatively short time to get from "Hey, my name is Naomi" to "I do."


Seven years however, is a good start to the plan of getting to know your spouse.  It's just about the right amount of time to get a good start on raising kids, settling in to making a house a home (or several houses into "home"),


It's just about the right amount of time to discover that it drives me crazy that he leaves cupboards and drawers open, and adequate time for him to discover that I am a packrat and quite honestly, a slob. He knows that I don't eat eggs, and I know he likes two ice cubes in his drinks.


Every week, I read the matrimonials in the newspaper here in Delhi.  At first it was mind-boggling.  To think that people are putting themselves out there ... in black and white (and highlighted in yellow to stand out from the rest of the crowd) ... hoping for a match.   Knowing that there are fathers and mothers dedicating a significant portion of their days responding to correspondence hoping to find the best match for their child -- poring through countless emails  containing information and words to showcase their son (or daughter's) best features and attributes.
 
There are classified ads for spouses (called Matrimonials) for every category you can think of.  Religious preferences, divorced, disabled, Caste vs. No-Caste, hometown/home village, etc.  

They spell out the height and weight requirements, almost always state "fair skinned" (I may NEVER get over the awkwardness of the fair skin obsession here) and typically request a certain education.  


Arranged marriages in India are often "scheduled" for lack of a better term, based on these things ... sometimes even the astrological compatibility of the future couple.  

Consider this list from Wikipedia :: 

• Values and personal expectations: should match
• Age and height: girl should generally be younger and shorter
• Looks: should be acceptable to the other, although it is preferred that the women have "a fair skin", as it can be noted in the matrimonial advertisements.
• Religion: should be same, preferably same sect
• Mother tongue, caste: should be preferably same
• Diet (veg/non-veg/alcohol/smoking): may differ only if acceptable to the other
• Education: comparable educational levels or the boy should be more educated than the girl
• Profession: the profession should be acceptable to the other
• Financial: The boy's current and future financial situation should be acceptable to the girl.
• Astrological signs/attributes: should be compatible, if the two families believe in it.

I spent some time talking to an Indian girl who is about to be married.  She chose him.  He chose her. They are both confident they've each chosen someone that will love them for who they are and accept them for who they're not. 

Since I am relatively naive about how all of this works, I asked whether it was an arranged marriage.  

She answered with a giggle, "no, it is a love marriage."  


She has known her fiance for several years and she loves him.  She approached her parents to request that they allow her to marry this boy, as opposed to someone they chose FOR her.


I asked her if she was nervous that her family would reject her request.  She wrinkled up her nose and said "No, I was not worried.  I love him and it would be as it should be."  Her parents have agreed, but reluctantly. 


They have been given several dates to choose from for their wedding date, based off of their astrological signs and the moon.  All dates given are auspicious dates and they should only wed on THOSE days.  

It was precious, as she told me about one of the days being on a Thursday -- "who would want to come to a wedding on a Thursday?"


Even after reading quite a bit of articles on this subject (to share this topic with you), I still don't quite understand the concept and process of arranged marriages, but know that it is very much different than anything I know.

I wonder how my classified would have read, eight years ago, before I chose my Husb.  I wonder what HIS would have looked like!

If you'd like to read a great article about this subject, click over to Anita Jain's article.   


This post could bring up a whole host of discussion topics ::

What does marriage mean to you?  Is love necessary for a healthy marriage?  Why is the divorce rate so much lower in India, than in the United States?  Do you think you could marry someone, without knowing much about them and end up falling in love with them after the fact?

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Who: Jacqueline Fernandez
Where: Gillette Mach3 India gaming Championship 2010

Love the architectural pleats and the color of this dress abut Jacqueline had to spoil it with those shoes..

Who: Neha Dhupia
Where: Gaurav Gupta Aza event

After seeing Neha in one flawless appearance after another, this one is really boring and disappointing. Something is really throwing me off..too matchy?? pant color??

Who: Kangana Ranaut
Where: (L) Eclipse special screeing, (R) Once upon a time screening

Going to movies is not a major thing but still Kangana could have tried harder than just wearing her Grandma's clothes...

photo credits: filmicafe.com, bollywoodhungama.com

Daily dose of Sonam & Aisha gang

Who: Sonam Kapoor
Where: (L) The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - Mumbai Premiere, (R) At Fever FM

So what do you think? Is she forgiven for yesterday's appearance? Sonam decided to do classy and chic today. The stunning blue dress is from CUE - a label by Rohit Gandhi and Rahul Khanna, which she wore with clutch and pumps. The simple but elegant black dress is from Whistles, accessorized with CD bag and black pumps...love the blue dress and CD bag:-)

Who: Ira Dubay
Where: (L) The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - Mumbai Premiere, (R) At Fever FM

Two different events, same exact pose - the neck is titled at the same angle!! Someone has been practicing in front of the mirror:-)
I think I am in love with the divinely draped Varun Bahl nude asymmetrical dress. Ira wisely didn't over-accessorize and completed her look with Grey printed peep-toes. Her Fever FM is nothing to write about..

Who: Amrita Puri
Where: (L) The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - Mumbai Premiere, (R) At Fever FM

Wow, I am really impressed!! What is the budget for this movie's promotion?? And the sidekicks are better dressed than the Star:P
I am having a tough time deciding which one I like better. The bright green bandage-style dress by Elise Overland or the floral print pink/purple dress..green, no, pink...no, green..

Who: Lisa Haydon
Where:The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - Mumbai Premiere

One is lonely number:( Lisa was not present for the FM promotions but made it up at the premiere in an elegant Mandira Wirk dress with tulip hemline. Looks like a laser cut pattern and the shoes are really cool.

So which dress did u like best?

DON THE TUTU ... or what it means to turn four.

When she was a little wee one, I played dress-up.  

I imagined what it would be like if she followed in her aunt's footsteps and found a love for dance.



When she was a precocious toddler, she twirled around in princess costumes and daydreamed of the day her prince would rescue her from her brother's evil Zurg.

When she turned three, she begged us to take ballet classes.  All of the schools said she had to wait until she was four.




The time has come, little one.  You've turned four and you can begin ballet.

Here's to first position, third position and arabesques.  

Here's to the year ahead and watching more amazing things happen in your little life.  From small things like watching the difference in your appearance when you have sweet little bangs versus the process of growing your hair out, at your request.  

To big things like realizing you are on the verge of learning how to read and helping to instill a love for books and words.

Here's to another year of still getting to have afternoon hot chocolate with you before picking up the big boys from school.

Here's to playing with a rainbow of watercolors, spilling glitter and using too much glue.  


Here's to hopefully less time in mama and daddy's bed and more time in YOUR bed, less dependence on "white milk" in the sippy cup at night and no cavities.


Here's to snuggles on the couch, kisses on both cheeks AND the "yips", continued love of Little Einsteins and your stuffed animals and little bum cheeks that hang sweetly out of your bathing suit bottom.


Happy Four, sweet angel.  You're our favorite Missy Moo Cow!



(I neglected to post her Happy Birthday letter on time because we were celebrating in Genoa, Italy.  Happy belated birthday, baby)

Once in blue moon..

..do we get to see cutie Preity Zinta!! Here she is in her favorite color, Red, at Godrej Consumer Goods press meet. I am just so happy to see her that I am going to overlook her weird belt..

photo credits: santabanta.com, filmicafe.com

Daily dose of Sonam & gang

Update on Rhea's outfit : As per her tweet 'zara top, zara pants and shoes from ports 1961.oh and dads watch!'

Who: Sonam Kapoor
Where: Promoting Aisha at 98.3FM Radio Mirchi

There is nothing specific awful about this outfit, its just there is too much going on with cropped top, jacket and pink high waisted pants. The bare midriff doesn't quite work for me. A case of trying to hard...

Just got a tweet from Sonam that her whole ensemble is from Topshop..

Who: Ira Dubey
Where: Promoting Aisha at 98.3FM Radio Mirchi

I like the print of this dress. Reminds me of 'Color by Numbers' book u get for the kids - and she has all the colors hanging at her waist, nice!! Not sure why is standing in such an awkward manner. U think Sonam is twisting her arm for wearing a better outfit..LOL, just kidding....

Who: Rhea Kapoor
Where: Promoting Aisha at 98.3FM Radio Mirchi

Cute camouflage print paired with black paints and pink shoes..Do you think pink shoes work here or should she have worn black?

photo credits: filmicafe.com, bollywoodhungama.com, pinkvilla.com

LISTENING IS AN ART.

In April, I read this post - 10 Ways to Instantly Become More Attractive - and loved it.  Click over and read it.  It's good stuff! 

Lately, I've been greatly turned off by the lack of listening skills in those that I'm surrounded by.  Yep.  It's rampant and it's quite disconcerting.  

I won't sugar coat it because it's really annoying.  I won’t name names … because that’s pointless.  But I am going to say it as I see it.

I’ve said before that I’m surprised at the maturity level of some expat women I come across.  I am just as bad sometimes, in that I need to curb my whining mouth and complaining lips.

I admit – I have my moments of being all out frustrated and just beside myself with frustrations from living here.

But, I strive to listen.  If I do nothing else … I listen.

"Listening - a primitive act of love - is a rare happening among human beings."   ~ William Stringfellow

Back to the blog post I referred to earlier written by Corey Allen.

Whether you just found out that your mother is very ill, or that a friend of yours has lost his job, or your house flooded, or you have an issue at work that is just beyond your normal coping mechanisms, or you are just plain weary of something that you think is trivial … don’t you want more than anything for someone to just LISTEN?

You do NOT want the person that you’re lamenting to, to interject their own {bigger and better} stories of how they once slayed that same dragon … or to absent-mindedly nod their head and say random “uh-hum” while they chew at their fingernails.  You REALLY don’t want that person to choose to --- while you’re in mid-sentence --- walk away to join another conversation.

Yet that’s what happens a lot here. 

You can’t categorically say that this is an illness only carried around by expat women … but it has been my first experience with this kind of phenomenon.

No longer am I tucked into intimate playgroups with women whose children have all grown up together, or running stride-by-stride beside gals that are all training for the same race.  Gone are the days where we have annual dates to go strawberry picking and meet at the field for the hot air balloon races.   

When you live in a community where most assignments last 2-3 years, the relationships lose the depth and roots that are often part of the friendships that I was accustomed to.  Most times, you know very little about your new acquaintances' life and history prior to their arrival into your new host city. The experiences and struggles that make up who you are, are somehow lost in the absence of a history together with another friend - who knows where you've been and what you've overcome.

The girls here – for the most part – fall into four categories

·        Survival (when you've just arrived, or have experienced a major change in circumstances)

·        Buried (when you are full up with children in school (grades, homework, events, sports, etc.), your commitments to charity, organizations or your own self/household)

·        Settled (when you have acclimated the streets of Delhi, found the “meat man” and have neatly scheduled yoga, coffee dates and volunteering time into the hours while your kids are at school)

·        Packout (when you know your departure date)

  

When you fall into one of those four categories, there is always an excuse, a reason, not to listen. 

Survival women rightfully are up to their gills in stress.  They don’t know which way is up, or how to even dial the phone to get some milk delivered.  Nothing is set in place and the kids aren’t sleeping and the last thing on her mind is setting down her own struggles to listen to your own drama.

Buried women aren’t surviving anymore, for they have been here long enough to get around, get meals on the table and know how to call for Dominos in a pinch.  Buried women though, have too much on their plates and everytime you call on them for assistance or help, you get cut off when the other phone rings, or when a meeting is about to start, or when the alarm goes off because it’s time for her weekly lunch with her tour group.

Settled women have it all together.  Their house is tastefully decorated with the trinkets of their travels and you can get vast information from them … whether it’s where to get the best wine, where to purchase great pashminas or the best new restaurant.  They are so settled though, that sometimes sharing your turmoil with them seems to garner the response of “Oh … yes, when I had that …” or “When that happened to me …”

Packout women are on their way OUT.  They are burdened with packing, moving, settling accounts, adjusting children, saying goodbyes and … looking forward.  They likely do not have much time or attention to give to your woes because they are escaping them!

Now … this is all VERY wide, vague and assumptive of me.  But it does correlate to the experience I’ve had over the last year.  I’ve been in three of the above categories myself.

One of the MOST attractive things about another human being is their ability and willingness to listen.  I’m going to work on it the next couple of months … to listen.  JUST listen. 

I’m not going to check my phone every 30 seconds for new emails.  I will look the other person in the eye while they share their story.  I will ask any of my children that accompany me to respectfully let us visit.  I will not walk away from a conversation without offering to meet again for coffee. 

If you’re moving to Delhi, or have general questions about moving a family overseas, I will listen and attempt to help.

Listening is an art.  We all have opinions and experience and advice to share … but first we need to get better at listening.

3 Idiots

Who: Gul Panag, Isha Koppikar, Celina Jaitely
Where: Hello Darling music release

All of us are entitled to be stupid. Unfortunately, some people tend to abuse this privilege:-)

Who: Celina Jaitely

We have been after Celina to change her hairstyle and this is what we get!! Neck up, she is a hot mess - looks like a drag-queen. She also needs to go one size up for the skirt. I do love the print on the top - reminds me a lot of D&G rose print of this season..I would love to see a dress in that print.

Who: Gul Panag

Miltary blazer - $50, Skinny jeans - $29.99, Necklaces - $9.99, Laughing so hard that water spurted from my nose - priceless..

Who: Isha Koppikar

Ok, Isha is not that bad. Her sequins bustier is sexy and I love the contrast between metallic grey and orange silk. Her skirt has a terrible fit and the shoes are a no-no..

photo credits: filmicafe.com, pinkvilla.com

Spotted at the airport

Sonam is back in town and will be a daily feature since she is going to be promoting her new film :-) She look chic in her shirt-tights combo which she smartly paired with a cropped blazer. Love her Balenciaga bag and oxford shoes..

Delhi Couture Week'10 - Suneet Verma

Suneet Verma presented his collection on day 5 of Delhi couture week. Unlike other designer collections, his outfits were not very heavy on the embroidery but the emphasis was on brocade fabrics, layering and draping. Elaborate headgear was a central point and so was the use of tassels. The color range was jewel color tones, perfect for fall and in line with American/European fall colors. All in all, pretty well done.




photo credits: prokerala.com, daylife.com, vogue.in

Delhi Couture Week'10 - Varun Bahl

Varun Bahl's collection was titled "Anastasia Found" and was an amalgamation of Russian and Indian designs - lots of capes, boleros, furs mixed with traditional outfits. Varun used a lot of velvet which he teamed up with heavily brocaded saris and lehengas. The color palette was jewel tones of burgundy, deep greep, purple. The whole collection had a very regal look and also included gorgeous headpieces. I think a velvet corset is going to be in my fall wish list:-) Here are my top picks:





photo credits: vogue.in, prokerala.com

Guest Post : Cleveland

Today I'm writing over at Chef's Widow ... to help fill in the space in her corner of the world while Jonathan and Amelia get started on their book.  

Click over to read about how to instill a love for travel and a passion to see the world in your children (or the children in your lives).

Guest Post

Delhi Couture Week'10 - Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla

Abu Jani – Sandeep Khosla's collection called 'Almost 24', was the Grand Finale of the Delhi Couture week 2010. The designers will complete 25 years in the business in 2011, and the title was an ode to this landmark. Their collection was divided into three parts - Abaan, a journey through floral thread embroidery; Sonaar, a homage to 'Sonar Kella', the book and film by Satyajit Ray; and Shabb, a gothic black form. The color palette was mainly whites and beige. There were only few pieces that caught my eye:( Shweta Nanda Bachchan was the showstopper in three-dimensional lotus motif dress. The dress is really over the top but then its a fashion show...

Shweta Nanda Bachchan

photo credits: filmicafe.com

Delhi Couture Week'10 - The Alika Jacket

JJ Valaya's collection was inspired by the courtesan Alika and her quest for love. At this collection, he debuted the 'Alika Jacket' which he hopes will become a signature piece of the House of Valaya. It is a cross between jacket and shirt. What do you think? a must have? I love the last one done in burnished gold...and dont miss the exquisite lehengas!!

photo credits: vogue.in

Delhi Couture Week'10 - Manav Gangwani

Manav presented his collection of Day 3 of Delhi Couture week. His collection was inspired by the movie "An Affair to rememmber" and consisted of gowns, saris and leghengas in bright red, metallic greys and turquoise. He mixed a lot of traditional embroidery with Swarovski crystals. The thing that struck me most was the dramatic headgear - I can totally see Rihanna and Lady Gaga hoarding them:-) "My brand is meant only for women who are bold and can carry any outfit with panache and confidence. I believe in dressing up like a true princess," says Gangwani. I loved the architectural details of his outfits and here are some of my top picks..




photo credits: pinkvilla.com, vogue.in

Delhi Couture Week'10 - Anamika Khanna

Anamika Khanna

Anamika presented her couture collection on Day 4 and most of the outfits were in blacks, whites, beige with splashes of red. in There were a lot of funky collars - the last one reminds me of Vlad, The impaler:-) (aka Dracula). She did a mix of gowns and saris as well as jackets with tights in rich, luxurious embroidery. As per the designer "I wanted it to have practical volume, a regal normality." Some of my top picks from her collection.



photo credits: daylife.com, vogue.in
Designer quote: vogue.in

Have passport ...

For the next couple of weeks, the grandparents will rejoice and the non-family readers will sigh ... as I will be blogging loads of posts about the kids and NOT so much about Delhi or India.


Summer is rapidly fading away and we are concurrently rapidly losing steam when it comes to being excited for yet another day of spending 24/7 time together.


Recently though, the kids moaned and groaned about the requirement to start off our day by getting visa/passport photos.  Now, mind you - it is a relatively simple and painless process.  You drive to the kiosk/shop, pose in front of the white background, the photographer clicks away, and then Kushal goes back two hours later to pick up the photos.  


Apparently though, when you're 4 and 6, it is a HUGE waste of time to spend those 15 minutes BEFORE the pool, getting those photos taken.


Anywhoo ... when we got home, they asked why their toys didn't have passports.  More specifically, why the Barbies and Woody didn't have passports.


So I did what any mama would do ... and we made passports.


First step ... take passport photos ::

Next up :: 


Glue sticks, cutting the Great Seal of America hot off of the printer and glancing over at their own passports every so often for inspiration

What was so cute about this was when it came time to list the toys' citizenship, Tony got creative.  Instead of USA or India, he decided that Woody came from "Andy's Room" and Buzz Lightyear's citizenship was "Infinity & Beyond."


~ ~ ~ ~


Moving on to cute thing #2 from recent moments.  Mia has been long awaiting her fourth birthday.  Mostly because that is the magic age that she could start ballet lessons.  She turned four ... I registered her and brought home "THE BOOK"


Because this sequence of photos was taken without her knowledge, I'm going to simply share them without my commentary ... precious.

She starts this week ... and I can't wait!